im sorry... By Emma Raine
im sorry...

By Emma Raine anxiety stories
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_emma_raine_369
_emma_raine_369 I swear im not this sad when you meet me
Autoplay OFF   •   7 months ago
wrote this in grade 9 for a slam poetry assessment

explains why its so dramatic

hope someone likes it

take care x

{ Trigger warnings: anxiety, panic attacks, dermatillomania }

im sorry... By Emma Raine

Oh sorry, sorry bout that, sorry about me

Sorry for saying sorry so much Oops there I go again

Sorry

You ask me why I always say sorry Why I punctuate each sentence, each movement With an apology

Why I order my food last Why when you ask me if I want something, I reply ... do you? D-do you want that?

Because god forbid my actions differ from yours God forbid I inconvenience you in any way God forbid I... speak up

After play rehearsal, you can pull the ropes on the back of my corset apart and let my spotted back spill to display my hated vulnerability

Yank my hands up from being stowed away in my pockets Pull the leather gloves off to view the teeth marks across my fingers

My nails though bare and pristine, are framed in severed, slashed cuticles like dry, cracked terrain left to die

Peel back the Moretta mask from my face to glimpse the blemishes crafted by every comment made and every comment imagined

I'm sorry for I feel so perfectly unnecessary

My moods prefer to listen to music rather than reason and reality And they keep forgetting that no one else can hear the symphony

or see that I'm shrinking, decomposing, my vision is fading, in the middle of class I feel like I'm underwater with music blasting

I should be doing alright according to Queen

Chirpy looking for my mister sandman though I haven't slept soundly in weeks

Most prominently, Panic! At the Disco how bout panicking absolutely everywhere

Years from now I hope I laugh at myself Years from now I hope I can laugh at myself

I'm learning now great friends are much better band-aids then the same playlists over and over

but both can be combined in great ways mainly in the corner of some stranger's rooftop

Years from now, I will thank you for pulling off my headphones

Removing my shaking hand from my mouth

Wiping tears from my cheek

Thank you for reminding me just how much I like the taste of air

The taste of food

And the lacking taste of blood and skin

Thank you for sharing my music and laughing with me at jokes neither of us are proud of

I'm so sorry I love you so much ...but

you are the one to push that sorry back down my throat

you help me replace my penitence with elevation

you help me replace that sorry with a thank you

I'm not sorry

I thank you

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