A call. One phone call is all it takes. Then everyone will know.
Ring. Ring, ring. Muttering. Footsteps. A shuffle. Heavy breathing. More footsteps. Silence.
'Your grandmother has died.'
My world splinters into little shattered pieces of black jagged glass.
Everything is black.
The devil. The fallen angel. It surrounds me. That needle pierced my only thread of happiness. It sneers and laughs like the others did 4 years ago, that 'First Day'.
But God didn't visit. God didn't save me. God didn't save her. Where has He been?
Gloomy. My gloomy eyes retrace my steps into the past. The past, now a lonely thing.
My mind searches for the happiest memory, swimming through my nerves and searching in tiny crevices, desperate for that thread.
But no. My only memory is death. Death has ruined me. Now I pity no-one.
Now evil, evil things, evil doings, evil people make me sick. My fists clench at the movement, at the scent, at the thoughts of evil. I have had enough!
My heart beats on fire, my breath grows intense, my stomach is weak but my mind is set.
I guard myself; preventing the fake, the evil from entering my story, my life. I do not want the devil laughing at me again. Wait. Just wait. I will laugh at the devil tomorrow.
Aunties, uncles, children, parents, long-lost relatives and cousins return.
Oh, how great, the family re-union! A life is lost so the 'family' must 're-connect'.
Heartfelt sorries and sympathetic eyes follow me and my close ones around during that month. Just a month.
They couldn't be with me forever.
But why would they?
I have nobody. Everyone out there is what the devil seeks. They answer correctly. They follow his path.
'Life is better than death,' they say. What's the point of moping? Why be depressed? Motivation, dedication, will-power and faith.
I keep thinking though: 'What would life be without death?'