Her skin is pale, like she hasn't had any sun for god knows how long. Her hair is damaged, because of all the hair dye she used.
And oh my, she is really skinny, she hasn't been eating that much lately.
She doesn't brush her teeth and doesn't take showers as much as she used to and if she does take a shower, she puts the temperature so hot that it is burning her skin off just to numb the pain she feels inside.
She barely drinks anything and if she drinks it is red bull to keep her awake, alive.
Everyone can see through her fake smile. So fragile, vulnerable and weak. Hiding emotions becomes difficult for her when she has so many.
She is tired and she hasn't been taking care for herself good lately. Her sleeping schedule is as ruined as her friendships. She just doesn't feel the need to talk to anyone.
Her volume on her headset as high as her standards she has given herself. She feels alone.
People are there to help her out when she feels upset, but no one has noticed that she hasn't left her house for weeks now without anyone visiting. Alone.
She is wondering how she can apologize for all the pain she thinks she gave everyone.
She knows she can't undo what is already been done but she tries to fix it anyway, like a form of still having control of at least one thing.
Thinking about what she can improve to make others feel better, not even thinking about how she has been doing.
She blames everything on herself, even the clouds turning grey or someone being unhappy, she did it and it's all her fault, there is no one else to blame.
People tell her she'll become happier as time passes by but she doesn't know if she can wait any longer.
She doesn't realize that the only one making her feel this way is herself.
She needs to take a deep breath, take a step back, get something to drink or to eat and listen to her favorite song or go for a walk.
Watch that one funny movie she enjoyed so much, go to that one place she liked so much.
Write about what she is feeling and why she may feel like that. Hangout with friends and go sporting.
Look at the sunrise or sunset, listen to the birds chirping like there is no tomorrow.
But no she can't. it is all just pure darkness and she sees no light at the end of the tunnel. She feels like giving up. Lying in bed all day is tiring.
Having no one to talk to even tough everyone reaches out feels lonely. Not being able to study but staring at a book for hours and hours is pretty tiring.
Not wanting to live but not wanting to die feels horrible.
Can you help me find that light at the end of the tunnel?