This time
This time miscarriage stories
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21triplea
21triplea Loading...
Autoplay OFF   •   6 months ago
There was a time before when I worried
When I didn't see that red stain every month

This time

There was a time before when I worried

There was a time before when I worried When I didn't see that red stain every month

But not this time

This time this putrid red colour is Satan's work

This time this putrid red colour is Satan's work He takes away each bean of life I try to carry

And this one was a girl

And this one was a girl I could feel it

She was our girl

She was our girl A tiny us with two cute ponytails

She held onto me for the longest too

She held onto me for the longest too She was a stubborn girl, huh?

Just like me.

You know sometimes I wonder,

You know sometimes I wonder, out of our four beans,

How many do you think would have had my blue eyes?

How many would have had your soft curly hair?

I'm sorry, we'll never know

I'm sorry for the false hope I gave us all four times

I'm sorry that I'm sitting here on the bathroom floor again in this puddle of red misery

At least this time, I'm not screaming at the top of my lungs

At least this time, I'm not crying uncontrollably

At least this time, I'm not trying to slit my throat

This time, I'm drawing a picture of our family of six on the tile floor with the red ink

This time, I'm happy with the fantasy of what could have been

This time, I'm happy with the fantasy of what could have been but will never be

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