Rant adhd stories

011eggos 🌙They don't call me graecus for nothing🌙
Autoplay OFF   •   3 months ago
I need to let this out of my system.


So as a big bulk of you know, I have a mental disorder called ADHD.

ADHD stands for Attention Defect Hyperactivity Disorder.

I cannot pay attention to something I find boring

At most times, i can't think. I can't get a thought through my mind even if I tried.

Time goes by exceedingly fast for me, and I have to- no, NEED to be preoccupied. If I can't fiddle with something, I start biting the inside of my mouth.

I understand many have it WAY worse than me, but here's something that almost made me cry.

So, I'm doing math, Long Division problems, and I can't remember how to do it. And if you remember, it took me 2 months to muster up enough courage to even ask for something that happens every single day. An interview. So, asking for help is not in my agenda.

English is my strongest subject, and i excel in it.

Math, not so much.

But, I couldn't think, I couldn't ask for help, and i couldn't cry. I hate this so much.

So I sat there, fiddling with my pencil, trying to think, gulping back tears. I'm not the type of person who shows they're feelings much, even at all. I sat there, just motionless.

I'm on the verge of tears.

To be honest, I feel like I talk about ADHD too much. Too often. That I whine too much, that the only reason people follow me is because they feel sorry for me. pity. I make myself think that there's friends here, that people'll want to DM me.

And that is the case, but,

Deep down in the pit of my heart, I think people pity me.

I don't want people to feel sorry for me, that I'm more than my illness. But, I...

I can't believe that at least some people follow me out of pity.

I know nobody's "Normal". Heh, it's funny to think ANYBODY could be normal. But, I want to be enough. Enough.

Also, This is an edit: I feel as though 'Leo.' got so much attention. And I even liked it. that's really rare. So, I wrote 'Nico.' Nico has more similarities with me than Leo. Because he feels lonely, even though he has friends. I respect that. That's all from me.

Thank you, and right from the very start, Ha det. ~***Moony***

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