Slowly dying
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zoey101a6Emotional
Autoplay OFF  •  4 months ago

Slowly dying

by zoey101a6

I wake up each morning hating myself a little more each day.

Sometimes I wonder if I should give up, turn my light switch off and never turn on again.

I try to erase this thought from my mind, but it's difficult knowing that the world would be the same without me.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I can't help but cringe at the person staring back at me.

I try to eat my feelings and cry out my insecurities. No one knows I'm hurting, no one knows my thoughts.

No one knows I've tried to make myself throw up over 20 times and each time I failed, I hated myself a little more each time.

"I'm so weak and stupid I can't even be bulimic" I would tell myself each time.

"Hold your breath, don't come back up" I say to myself.

I know the demons inside me want me to die, I know I shouldn't listen, but they always come when I'm weak.

They tear me apart starting with my mind and creep into my skin, and rip my insides apart, and force me to say "I'm fine".

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4 months agoReply
Having read your pome for a second time I've come to realize how little has changed in the years since i was an adolescent we still think the same and we are still just as wrong it still comes down to the same thing after all these years self love self love self love we can't develop as as person until we at least start to like who we are when I was young someone told me if only you could see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you I've told me children the same and now they are telling thair children the same everyone has someone who loves them more than you can emagon

4 months agoReply
Having spent my entire life fighting my own mind i feel deeply your thoughts if only you could see yourself through the eyes of who love you what a different person you would see one of the most important thing in your life is leaving to love yourself this something that is never taught in schools at home and least of all by society if you never learn another thing in your life your life will change wonce you learn how to love yourself sometimes we have to start by gust liking one thing about ourselves and work ours way up A great poem don't lose faith

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
4 months agoReply
Sweetheart you are playing an integral and important role in the universe. Depression has finally been found to be genetic. There is nothing that is your fault. You write beautifully. Your description of yourself is heartbreaking. Now, that is a talent. When you day no one understands, I'll bet I can find over a thousand people to say you are wrong that they have been where you are. There exist a community of caring people under the Comma. Take care grandchild. Wonderful post!!!

onlyadreamerGrace - She/her, INFP, dreaming
4 months agoReply
Ash, don't ever feel like you aren't worth it. There are people on this planet who care a whole lot about you, and trust me, if you weren't here, their lives would not be the same. If you need someone to talk to when you feel weak, they're there. I'm there. Virtually, of course ;-) <3