My heart sank as I looked at the tombstone in front of me. This was her...well it was what was left of her.
The sun was starting to set as the Priest finished his sermon. I wish I had organised her funeral, she wasn't even remotely religious.
Everyone started to walk away, but I couldn't move. Why wasn't she coming with us? We could get drunk and laugh at her relatives pretending that she was perfect.
Well she was perfect to me.
I looked at her tombstone. Rosemary J. Simon - she really hated that name, but it was there for everyone to see. To show off what a good girl she was.
With her Catholic parents and sweet boyfriend who made a speech at the funeral. I was just the dirty secret.
But I loved her still. Even as she used me to understand herself, to rebel against her parents, to break away from that image. I always loved her. And I don't know why.
But I would do it all over again.
I read her full name and the emotions overwhelmed me. I never loved a Rosemary!
I loved a Rosie who smoked like a chimney, swore like a sailor, and dressed like a Victoria's Secret model.
I loved a Rosie who kissed me like it was my last, caressed me within an inch of my life, and made me feel wanted.
But now in the empty graveyard, I now realise that I have once again been hidden from her real life. I wanted to scream!
SHE WAS MINE! SHE WAS MY FIRST LOVE! WHY DON'T YOU CARE?! She was taken away from me.
I cried. I screamed. I punched the tombstone and cuddled it to say sorry. Rosie was gone, and there was nothing to show for it apart from a fucking piece of stone!
Night fell and I hadn't moved. Not a muscle. I could not go back. Not without Rosie.
I looked up at the sky and saw the same stars me and her looked at just a couple of days ago.
And all of the sudden I see a shooting star. A bright burning star that made the sky look more vibrant and beautiful.
And in an instant, it was gone.
But then I realised something. Just because the sky is dark now, doesn't mean it cannot be light.
Rosie was the star that made me brighter. She made me happy in the time she was here and I could never thank her enough for that. As a best friend and a lover.
It was only natural that she would go towards the sky to make the world a more beautiful place.
And even though I was her secret, I didn't mind. I am dark now, but I know that she made me shine.