I came out of College with the basic qualifications I needed. I started to take up menial jobs and update my CV.
I looked high and low on the web, from Monster to Indeed. However I never got past that blasted stage three!
Being asked by a random stranger why you wanted this job. When you couldn't resist thinking, 'I need some money to put food in my gob.'
After yet another rejection, I questioned whether I needed this crap. But then they asked me, 'would you like some feedback?'
So I said yes and listened very carefully. And they explained to me why I never passed stage three.
"We can tell that you aren't passionate about this type of business." "You need to look inside yourself, and find out what gives you happiness."
I looked at her incredulously as she replied in a bored fashion. "You need to find something that makes you feel passion."
As I walked out the door from yet another setback. I started to plot my full force attack.
I'll show her that I would not just settle for any career. But find one that would make me happy, and pay me dear.
So once again I went home and started to think. What types of hobbies tickled me pink?
I jotted down my answers and looked at the results. But 'petting dogs' and 'prank calls' weren't really for adults.
I called all the people around me who I thought I knew. And yet again, they hadn't a clue.
"I couldn't think of a career you could grow into." "But you always make me laugh when I'm feeling blue."
And so I hung up, my morale positively diminished. But I knew that I wasn't finished!
I went from door to door pushing my CV. But I never got any further than the secretary.
I started to call every business number I found. But all of them never stopped themselves from laughing out loud.
But then one day I had an epiphany. Why couldn't I get paid for people laughing at me?!
So I scouted out clubs and I told them my story. They responded, "don't worry, you'll get your glory."
And from then on I've been touring from one club to the next. Not forgetting that all important paycheck.
Making people laugh is a huge strength of mine. And I love it when people relax and unwind.
I've learned how to be confident and to cash in. On this job that I can proudly call my passion.
And as I'm standing in front of you in Glasgow On my 10 year anniversary show.
I'm going to give you some advice. That you probably already know.
Just remember that in your humdrum life. Not everyone around you will be right.
And no matter what people say. Things will work out alright.