Some people think that being in a relationship completes you , that makes you survive another day in this harsh world without feeling empty or lonely or insecure ………..
A relationship whether it is healthy or unhealthy.
I’ve been now sitting for almost 2 hours just thinking how the hell my life turned into a leaving hell , just a couple of months ago I was full of life , a happy person ,
always with a stupid smile plastered on my face all the time , I was living my life like all the others teenagers .
But now all I feel is emptiness, sorrow and grief. I heard the front door opens and close and I know that he’s finally here.
I hear his footsteps coming closer and closer until he’s right behind the door, waiting , feeling shivers run down my spine.
The door opens, he starts walking toward me he’s eyes fixing only me, I freezes. Just his presence intimidates me and I know for sure what he’s capable of.
-I missed you babe, He said kissing me on the cheek smiling. - I missed you too, I said smiling back knowing that he will surly hurt me if he’s not pleased with my answer.
- I brought you a gift, he said taking out a little box from his pocket, he put it in my hand and I hesitantly open it to reveal a beautiful bracelet
decorated with o tiny diamonds it looks sophisticated yet simple.
That’s what he does every time he wants me to forgive him
he thinks that his gifts will take away my pain, my heartache, that it will make the bruises disappear from my pale skin.
- Don’t think that I will easily forgive you for what you’ve done. The words coming out without my permission and I regrets them
the second they came out, by the look of his face I knew what will come next.
His hand came out from nowhere making my face turn to the side, I placed my hand on my aching cheek,
I heard a sob and I knew that it’s coming from me and soon I’m crying.
- Look at me , he said sternly but I refuse to face him , he grabs my face forcefully and makes me look directly in to his cold blue eyes ,
eyes that once looked at me with warmness, eyes that every time I looked at them I stopped breathing.
- I did warn you that I wouldn’t be responsible if you talk back to me, I will let it slide this time but make sure to be careful,
next time you will be severely punished beautiful, he said grabbing my face and kissing me possessively.
And I kissed him back like the pathetic that I ‘am, he knew me, knew my weaknesses and knew he was my weakness.
Even with all the beating and the insults I couldn’t bring myself to hate him, he was my first love, the one that I gave him all what cherished;
my virginity, my heart, my body and my soul.
I’ve should listened to the people around me and I’ve should seen all the signs but I was too blind to notice too stubborn to listen, I was madly in love.
And now I’m stuck in this, trapped in my own body and heart that refuse to leave him.
He was always the demanding, possessive kind of guy he was always making sure to turn me into someone new to someone that don’t look a bit like me and he succeeded.
He was criticizing me, every little thing I love, everything I believe in
he was teaching me to love the things he love, make me believe the things that he thinks right for me and he succeeded.