She and I
Sometimes I actually think my insecurity and me,
Make for a dysfunctional couple!
Like we’ve got little love for each other,
She almost always gets the blame for my fuckups.
I don’t blame her though. See we have been together for 20 0dd years
And obviously, it’s not easy to move on when you have been with someone for that long.
Like, I will see a girl, fine as hell, filling out her yoga pants the right way
So I tell myself, “Zee, you gotta go talk to her man!”.
Only for her to whisper in my ears saying, “Fat chance”.
She goes, “Yo dude, its only in your head that the crisscross of stretch marks marring your skin creates a beautiful constellation.”
Because of her, I have learnt to quiet in places where I should be loud and not fight back when the other person pushes me.
Because of her, I have stopped trying to loved and understood, ‘cause she puts my failures on rewind, constantly reminding me of the times I kicked, rejected and told wasn’t good enough.
Have you ever wondered why when you try to talk to me, I fidget, my knees tremble, my face breaks out a sweat, my voice sounds hoarse?
It actually because at that moment I am fighting a losing battle with my possessive irrational lover. A match that you can’t even see and I am determined to not lo0se this time.
Please, if you see my Ex tell her the reason we didn’t work out is that she didn’t know she was in a love triangle with my insecurity and me.
So when you say hi to me sometimes and I don’t reply,
It’s probably cause at that very moment I am arguing with her and she hates being ignored.
I have really tried to cut off, but both of us are the same, abandonment issues and don’t handle separation us.
And I love her too. She’s the longest relationship I have ever had.
For even after you leave she will still be here with me.