by Zahidah Adnan
“You were never happy being with me” he says softly. His eyes wandered off to the view in front of him, it was as though his soul was crawling out of his now hollowed body.
“Everything I did, you’d either question my thoughts, or start crying. I never knew what to do when you started crying. It got tiring dealing with your confusion."
" Let’s end it here.” in a short breath, he spills.
Not a word left her lips. In the cold silence, you could hear her swallowing her tears. Without inching a muscle, she sat there by him, as her eyes turns watery from the words he poured.
This was the first time - she thought, that he had ever talk about his feelings to her. She always craved for his deepest thoughts - but what came, was in the form she never expected it to be.
“Why, does everyone I love.. leaves me?” her voice now shaking into a tornado cry. Her body, her muscles, starts shaking out of control.
“I’m sorry.. My feelings for you is just gone now, it faded.” And that was the first time she saw him cry. But she can’t help wondering why he cried.
Now, further than strangers, she never heard from him ever again. Neither did he heard from her ever since.
“All I needed was time, to love myself. But I was so in love with him that I couldn’t love myself, and even that.. even that was wrong. He left, like how everyone did.”