I open the door
I open the door humour stories
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yuki_owling
yuki_owlingCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  6 months ago
Toilet Blues. A funny (hopefully?) poem about being a hotel cleaner. (Toilet blues is a pun on the blue cleaning product actually used for the toilets in my time as a housekeeper).

I open the door

And I’m hit by a wave

Of searing heat, toilet pong,

And aftershave.

The bed is untucked,

Duvet thrown on the floor,

Revealing mystery stains...

I’ll say no more.

Pillows smeared in mascara, black,

I’m not changing it,

I’ll hide it at the back.

Coffee has been thrown

All down the wall,

I only cleaned that yesterday-

With bleach and all.

Into the bathroom

I venture scared,

Sopping wet towels

And shower trays haired.

Soap is stuck fast

Around the sink,

And floaters float,

Causing a stink.

I kneel down,

Oh god my knee is wet,

How did they miss!?

That’s what I don’t get.

Flush it away, and pour in

My toilet blue,

What the bloody hell

Just stuck to my shoe?

Clean towels, empty bin,

And water marks no more,

I make my escape

And shut the door.

That’s my work here done,

I heave a sigh,

And to the mess

I say goodbye.

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