She’s downed two cans of margarita lemonade and already regretting it. It had felt like the right thing to do. The room was closing in on her. She needed a breather. So she made her way to the kitchen and grabbed a can.
After she was finished with the first one and the hollowness in her chest still hadn’t disappeared, she decided she’d rather have another drink than deal with her group in the living room. Except that only made her feel like she was even further underwater.
Alcohol is a depressant. No shit it’s gonna egg on her depression.
She ends up weaving throughout the hallways of her house to try and find a place to be alone. The bathroom, her room, the laundry room. Except she doesn’t want to be alone. The whole point of this party is that she doesn’t want to be alone. It just ended up that way because she’s a side-character.
That’s the only way to describe it. Everyone has someone else that isn’t her and she’s simply some background chick throwing the party. It’s more than enough to make her feel unwanted.
Eventually she gives up and makes her way back to the kitchen. You don’t fix nothingness with more nothingness. Not that margarita lemonades can fix her nothing but at least it’s something. Because it’s sour and sweet against her tongue. It makes her teeth feel sugar coated and it slightly burns the back of her throat. It makes her feel something.
She’s downed half of her third can when Jacen comes into the room. She doesn’t even try to school her expression. She’s just tired.
“Eh. I’m an introvert. Parties suck.”
He laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Ever the pretty little wallflower.”
Jacen stayed with her for the rest of the night, chatting idly, until he spouted out the time and said he had to leave. The house was empty again and that was it. That was what it was like to party with the people she loved.