I lay wide awake, another 5am going by, laying restless in my never ending depression and self-wallowing,
unable to realize my true self-worth, I'm feeling alone right now waiting for the boy I've been waiting for for 3 weeks now,
I'm proud, but the absence is tearing me up inside, I never realized how much one boy could hurt you without even doing wrong
I've come to realize, by the fourth 5am passing, that I disliked myself, and how lonely I got without talking to this boy,
how much I meant without him -
Nothing, I meant nothing, and I would never mean anything to anyone if I continued to live this way, lying to myself and others - "hey, hru" "hey, I'm great"
what a fucking joke I am
I laugh at myself until my laughs turn into choked sobs, the whites of my eyes flooding with tears as time goes by,
all I can do is fucking vent and complain so here's this.