I'm no longer hiding from a world of happiness and sadness
my brittle bones fueled with anxiety unsure of what comes next
I'm hoping that what I do, and am doing, is truly the right thing for myself,
allowing new and old people back into my life,
the thought of this gives me anxiety,
my ears begin to pop, and once I close my eyes, the soft, old static reappears.
I reread all of my old conversations, considering what to do with the old once I found the new.
I thought that there was a possibility that I could just maybe leave the past behind, along with its contents,
but the thought of leaving any old friend of mine behind shattered my heart and crushed my skull.
I was drowning in the oxygen I breathed, and breathing in the water I despised, but loved so much as well,
my tongue thick with emotions and my throat scratched with speaking over my period of living makes me sound aged and lovely.
perhaps I shall keep the old along with the new;
section out time for each and every new soul I allow into my life,
until I get hurt once more, and I go into a deep hiding that puts ridges upon my chest and my back from malnourishment and neglect.
My head is made up of poison, my bones riddled with anxiety, my heart crushed with uncertainty as I lead myself upon this new, untraveled path.
I am what I am.
I am a ghost in a place totally new to her.
I am uncertain.