COVERT.
COVERT. blm stories
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writingsbychloe
writingsbychloe Community member
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A poem written about my experience of growing up in a predominantly white community as a mixed race (black and white) young woman, encapsulating my self-discovery and the microaggressions and frustrations that result from that. 11/06/19

By: Chloe Giles

COVERT.

by Chloe Giles

I'm sick of feeling alone and isolated,

I'm sick of hearing the ignorance and the opinions that are outdated

I'm sick of the superficial conversation and calling it bonding on vacation

Talk of the weather,

The small talk is microscopic

I can hear myself inside screaming please just stop it

The side eyes and disapproval I feel for confronting my truth and saying I can't ignore it

The people meant to to stand with me sit back in awe of it, the thought of it, they don't support it

They wonder how a woman so young can cause sO mUcH dRaMa

When really I'm just speaking for my soul, and praying for good karma

Unveiling their ignorance and the silver lining they apply

Praying that one day they see the connotations of wanting to be tan but calling her hair wild

Praying they see through what people say, and read between the lines

Not everything is tinted rose and said how it was in "those times"

Things are whispered now amongst fake noise to distract them,

They see headlines which attract them, shape their opinions and refract them

But amongst the black and white print stands a black and white girl,

Caught in a whirlwind of confusion of what happened to half of her world,

The culture dispersed and lost with her past

Leaving her to build on her own what she could have learned from her dad.

Learning about herself at nineteen seemed unordinary,

But finding her colour in a life of white noise was extraordinary

It wasn't the ideal story, but ignorance for them was bliss but acknowledgement brings glory

It's painful for them that I understand,

To open their eyes and see that life isn't a beach but it does have white sand

Systems seeping into power,

Climbing up and through to leaders in their towers,

Profiting from the deceit, indulging in money showers

They don't know what lies behind or before the adverts,

They don't know their own people could have ever been adverse,

That politicians aren't overt, that now in this year words and actions are covert

They don't know this and it makes me so hurt

I hope and have faith that one day they can foresee

The strength in the diversity, including her 'wild' hair textured 4C

I pray they stop the fetishisation, and that they and others come to the realisation

Dissolved history changes our education,

I pray they form their own opinions of what they hear on radio stations,

and maybe when this happens, we can have that conversation,

Maybe go away and bond on vacation

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