When I arrived home, I texted my best friend, Lisa, with the news. Lisa was not only my best friend -- she was my only friend.
The people who I thought were my friends ran like rats when I accused Steven of rape. They wanted no part of me, but Lisa remained true.
Lisa knew about what I was going through, because she was also a survivor of sexual abuse.
Her stepfather assaulted her when she was only six years old, and ever since then, she had issues with men.
I never once saw her date a boy in school, and those who did ask her out were quickly turned away. I had my suspicions about her sexual preferences, but I didn't ask, and she didn't tell.
It's never a good idea to text someone with the news that your assaulter had just been found not guilty, but that's exactly what I did.
It took less than a minute for Lisa to call me, after sending her the text. I didn't even get the chance to say hello, before she started talking.
"Are you serious?" Lisa said, "How can they do this to you?"
"Money talks," I said.
"You don't sound as depressed as I thought you would," Lisa said.
"I'm not depressed, because I know he will not get away with what he did to me." The line grew silent for a few seconds.
"But he did get away with it, Sarah."
"I know... but not for long."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm going to kill Steven Houseman." I couldn't believe that the words flowed as easily as they had from my lips. I am not capable of murder--am I?
"Your upset, Sarah," Lisa said. "Why don't you try and get some rest, and I will talk to you later."
"No," I said, "I'm not tired, and I'm Serious. Steven is not going to hurt another girl--not while I'm alive to stop him."
"What are suggesting, Sarah?"
"I have a plan that will put that little weasel out of his misery once and for all."
"You know, I have always been your best friend, and I would follow you down into darkest pits of Hell, if need be, so I am here for you, and I want to help."
"I can't drag you into this," I said, "besides, he hurt me, not you."
"That's where You're wrong," Lisa said, "your pain is my pain, and when someone does something to you, it affects me as well."
"Thanks Lisa." "I don't know how I ever got so lucky to find a friend like you."
"We are both lucky," Lisa said, "now what's the plan?"
"I can't talk about it on the phone, but meet me at Ridgeway park at eight tonight and I'll go over the whole thing with you."
"Okay, I will see you then," Lisa said, and hung up the phone.
I can't believe I am dragging her into this. She had been my best friend since third grade, and we've been the closest thing to siblings that either one of us would ever know.
Maybe I should've kept quiet about my intentions, but I never kept a secret from her, and I was not about to now.
I paced around my room for about an hour, listening to Disturbed, getting myself motivated for what was about to go down.
It was no secret thatI had my issues--my biggest being self-mutilation. I was known as a cutter, but I didn't do it to get attention like some people assumed.
I did it because it helped to ease the pain, and take my mind off the aftermath of rape.
I wasn't always a cutter, and I didn't even know what a cutter was, at least not until my psychiatrist explained it to me, after seeing the marks on my arm.
Mom wanted to commit me, but the doctor said, since I didn't want to die, then they could do nothing but monitor me.