Life is a constant battle.
I want to be found, I want to be seen, I want to be heard.
Everything I've done, everything I work for,
I want it all to reach the light.
It's not like I deserve it.
I'm simply addicted to validation.
The very sentence makes me feel ashamed.
I've grown up taught by others and myself that attention should not be sought,
That I should believe in myself and myself only.
But is that really true?
Is it so taboo to want to be noticed?
Not me on my own, but the words spewing out of my head,
Should they just be left where they were born?
Maybe everyone is right.
I know my constant need for validation isn't okay,
And yet I still guiltily yearn for it.
I'm so afraid of being forgotten.
The thought that my life means nothing...
Is it selfish to be scared of that?
Should I live accepting that I'll never mean anything to the future?
How can that mindset inspire me?
How can I live in a world meant to forget me?
I want so badly to mean something.
I should be content.
Why am I not content?
Is there something wrong with me?
I've got no one to blame except myself.
I'm sorry for my unhealthy obsession with validation.
I'm sorry for wanting more out of a life that doesn't need anything else.
... Please don't forget me.