I don't mind waiting.
Everyone always seems to complain about it, and I understand.
But for me, waiting can be bliss.
Be required to stay still, to do nothing but remain idle, it gives my mind a break.
I enjoy letting time pause itself,
Being required to do nothing, whether it's sitting in a car or standing in line.
I don't mind being patient.
Or at least, that's what I thought.
I can feel my mind emptying, and I sense thoughts burning down to nothing.
I'm left with ashes.
Nothing to think about, nothing to fear.
Letting my mind fall into different worlds, it can be beautiful.
But sometimes...I can't find another world.
Instead, I'm left in darkness.
At first, it's nice.
I like the silence.
However, it doesn't last, because darkness is never content with standing still.
Evil clouds my mind, rain bombarding my thoughts.
I beg and plead over and over again in my mind,
"Take me somewhere beautiful, take me somewhere magical, take me anywhere but here."
And yet... I stand still.
Able to be patient in reality but not in my head,
Always needing something to center on.
I wish my external patience carried over.
I wish my mind enjoyed being still, just like I do.
It doesn't make sense.
Aren't I and my mind one and the same?
Aren't I supposed to control my mind?
However... the darkness fades away as the waiting ends.
I am patient with the world, but my mind is not patient with me.