I thought I had changed myself.
I rearranged every atom of my being,
Reversing my way of life,
Changing my principles,
Cleansing my thoughts.
I thought I was completely changed...
Until you said "no."
It brought me back down to the ground,
Helped convince me I would always be the same.
So I stared in the mirror and asked myself,
"Who am I trying to be?"
As my eyes grew red and blackened streaks ran down my cheeks,
I was convinced that becoming new was a mistake.
I asked myself,
"Am I simply a clone?"
A copy of who I used to be,
Covered up by inspiring quotes and "you can do its!"
Maybe my new self was a fraud,
As proven by you,
Because your rejection stung the old me.
But then I realized, I was no clone,
I was simply retorting back to the me I used to be.
But now, after leaving my old beliefs, my old inner process, my old purpose behind,
It was only fitting to leave you behind, too.
I don't think you ever had to leave me,
I don't think you ever even stopped once to think of me,
But the amalgamation of who I was needed you.
But I'm no clone,
And I'm certainly not a clone of the girl that was dependent on needing you.
I need to purge you, too.
I need to purge you for good, this time.
This time, it's a real goodbye.
I'm sorry I've been gone for so long! As I'm sure is evident by this poem, I've been taking some time to work on myself.
However, I've missed this website and don't plan on staying gone for too long. Also, I don't know if this is a problem on my part or on the websites, but my photo searches aren't working, so that's why they're all the same. Thanks for reading!- Kitty