Here I am, walking through the world with foggy eyes,
Fighting failure once again.
Success was so close,
And yet so unreachable.
Why does it always escape me?
And I cry, I cry,
Thinking "was I only born to die?",
Because I fail at everything every single time...
No matter how hard I try.
In a string of bad choices, I make another.
Deciding to lie to save my pride,
Cause who I am is based on validation.
I thought their congratulations would fix me,
But they only broke me more.
Turns out, my own disappointment means the most.
Cause even though I try and try,
Nothing ever turns out right,
And I'm left feeling empty.
Was I born to fail?
Is my only purpose to disappoint?
Why is it that everyone else has something they can do?
Why can't I succeed?
They all prevail without a thought,
Moving on while I stay stuck in turmoil.
So I ask and plead, confiding in something I do not believe,
Because it seems I must've done something to deserve this.
I deserve to fail,
I deserve to cry,
That has to be the reason why.
My only solace is the inevitability of time, whether or not it completely heals me.
Still, I truly believe no one will ever be proud of anything I do,
And I will die leaving nothing behind.
I'm sorry for writing such a sad poem today. Something I had been working on for a long time didn't come to fruition, and it's very frustrating.
I wrote this poem with the purpose of getting out my thoughts, so I'm sorry that it's a bit disorganized. I hope you enjoy it regardless.- Kitty