When I first met you,
Everything was perfect.
You became a ray of light in my world of darkness.
Your smile made my heart swell,
And your voice speaking to me cured my dangerous loneliness.
You were a life saver,
You were a soul saver.
Over the years, I fell in love with that smile,
With that voice,
With those eyes looking into mine.
I was willing to do anything for you.
I'd jump any hurdle,
I'd run any race.
As the days went on,
I fell deeper and deeper into a pool of confusing feelings,
A dark, scary pool that I could not escape.
Then, I began to realize.
It started with little things.
Not inviting me to your party.
Sitting somewhere else.
Ditching me for someone else.
I began to realize that those feelings I had for you weren't ever shared.
All this time, I thought we were one and the same.
I was so foolish to think it was going to be a fairytale,
That we were going to find each other after years of hiding our feelings.
I was foolish to think you loved me too.
In my eyes, you were a hero.
In your eyes, I was a mere bystander, barely on the brim of being a "friend."
Here I was, feeling like I had gone through an entire relationship on my own.
The beginnings of fuzzy feelings,
Falling deeper and deeper while you were still standing still.
I had fallen in and out of love with you,
Feeling all the pain of love and heartbreak,
While you were feeling nothing.
You got off without a scratch while I suffered.
I tried so hard to impress you,
Jumping over hurdles over cliffs and running races through endless forests.
I wanted so badly for you to care about me,
But you never did.
I was never completely nothing,
I was never completely nothing, But I wasn't anything special either.
A simple friend, barely even that.
I shed so many tears for you,
But I know better now.
I know those tears I shed for you are not shed for me.
So, I must learn to move on.
I must learn that it's not love if it's only going one way.
I'm sorry for staying stuck on your for so long.
Though I'm lost now,
I will learn to wipe my tears and move on.
Hi! I know this is longer than my usual poems, and it's definitely not what I usually write. Still, I hope you enjoy it anyway! I certainly enjoyed writing it. Thanks for reading.- Kitty :)