I hate what I see in the mirror,
I hate the words humming in my head.
I hate the unsteady fumes floating around my body,
I hate the words buzzing in my head.
These eyes aren't used for seeing,
And instead are wonderful tools of critique.
They look in the mirror and see what they hate.
But what happens when they hate everything they see?
Placing shame upon my shoulders,
A power pushing me to become better.
On one hand, I work so hard to improve everything I do.
On the other hand, nothing is ever good enough.
Somehow there's always something wrong,
Always a new goal I could reach.
A natural human reaction,
A natural want for more.
To be prettier,
To be smarter.
If I can't be,
The world shall shame me.
The world shall shame me for being stupid,
The world shall shame me for being ugly.
The others around me,
Surely their critical eyes critique me as well.
Or are their eyes only shaming they body they belong to,
Just as mine are?
After all, the only person I do not see as a human is myself.
Could they perhaps be feeling the same thing?
It's comforting to know that even though through my own eyes I am a monster,
Through the eyes of others, I am just like them.
But is that the truth?
Do some judgemental eyes look down upon others?
I will never know...
I will never know... For my eyes convince me that I simply deserve the shame from others.
Deep down, I know I do not deserve this shame.
Deep down, we all know that we are all human...
And yet the shame still persists.