Tired
Tired  depression stories
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wlworchids
wlworchids Better than ever
Autoplay OFF   •   7 months ago
I wrote this when I was frustrated with life and abuse

Tired

I'm so tired

There's exhaustion rooted deep deep into my core

These bones have been awake for so long

They crick crack with every step

Sleep is not enough

No rest can replenish me

What do I need what do I need

I'm so tired

Years and years and years and years

Of being ignored and insulted and stepped on and spit on and laughed at and holding on too tight and breaking my skin and tugging at my beautiful beautiful hair and my chest and my legs

and being exploited and lied to and being left out and robbed because my things didn't matter because they weren't really mine

I didn't really belong to myself so what I wanted didn't matter

What did I want?

what do I want what do i want

I'm so tired

Of not meeting any standard I've set for myself building mountains and hills and stairs I can't climb and making messes I can't clean and there's so so so so so so so much mess and I can't

get it all and I've tried so hard and I've tried and tried and tried and my muscles gave out and my feet stopped moving and my hands scratched and clawed pitifully and

my mouth silently screamed and my eyes plead and the person standing above me was myself

I'm so tired

Of the dull fear always present and the fast beat beat beat of my soft heart and the vicious and hot anger that I've come to cherish and hate and of hate hate hate hate hate of all

the crappy things and of everything that happened to me and of the system and people this planet has and only seeing blue and red blue and red blue and red blue and red crying and screaming

and stomping and breaking and shattering begging for a release and being pissed and violent and so so so so afraid

I'm so tired

Of the nagging muted thoughts in the back of my brain my brain that's bug and beautiful and so fucked and forgetful and messy and clumsy stacked full of so much information that doesn't

go through until it's too late and all the clocks inside are broken and all the paper was burned but what a big and beautiful brain it is nevertheless and always working and working

and never never never resting always thinking and creating and moving and screaming and howling and sobbing and laughing altogether at once and oh do i need my rest and sleep and a break

do I even have a brain

What do I have what do I have

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