July 15th 2015 I have spent the last 3 months in a world that is not my own. Many nights I party and drink myself to sleep. I decided I would take Paige on an adventure with me, get my mind off things
I am currently in Amsterdam, the capital of the Netherlands. I managed to somehow bury my feelings for Dahlia. She does not cross my mind as much as she used to Maybe the alcohol and constant Paige has something to do with it.
I go back to the United States tomorrow, back to where she is. I recently seen a few pictures of her on her brothers social media but I didn't feel anything, except that she is still beautiful.
Progress right? Who am I kidding? She's in my heart, I think about her all the time. I just can't explain my feelings nor can I show them
May 20th 2015 I haven't seen Dan since our camping trip. I asked Jax what happened to him and apparently he is on vacation, in Europe.
Its been over a month since that day, I guess he is still out of the country. On a side note Colin asked me to be his girlfriend again, for the 10th time this year Just like the last 9 times, I told him I would think about it..
June 1st 2015 I finally decided I would give Colin a chance, he is funny, cute and very sweet. Colin is the kind of guy I need to be with, he is 17 years old with honey brown eyes mixed with green. He has the most beautiful smile that can make you melt where you stand.
July 15th 2015 Its my 17th birthday tomorrow I don't have any plans for it. I don't really feel like celebrating
July 16th 2015 I'm back in United States, I decided to visit Jax. I noticed a lot of cars in his driveway. Jax opened the door and shouted " Welcome to the party Brother"
Confused, I ask him what is going on? He gives me a shot glass and leads me towards Dahlia I could see the excitement on her face when she saw me. She tried to cover it but I saw it
Jax tells the DJ to kill the music and raises his shot glass. "Everyone pour a shot glass. Surprisingly people did as he said, then he made a toast. "Toast to my sister Dahlia, happy birthday sis, I love you and toast to my best friend who just came back after three months in Europe"
The room erupts with noise of birthday wishes and welcome backs. It didn't take long for a girl to pull Jax away for a dance, and that's when I spoke to Dahlia. I told her she looked beautiful, and wished her a happy birthday. "Thank you Dan. She said while trying to avoid eye contact
"How was Europe? She asked smiling with raised eyebrows Europe was amazing, I tell her while pouring myself a drink. "Did you go alone? She asked. I was hesitant to answer for a few seconds
No, I went with Paige. I responded searching her face, trying to read her like a book. "Paige? she said it like a question. Yea, you remember her right? I asked while still searching her face I noticed her smile fade for a second before she brought it back
"Ye-yea, I remember her" She said sounding a bit off.. "So you guys are still together then? She continued. Yes, we are still together I said with a smile that seemed to match hers, too darn uncomfortable. That is when I knew she still feels something for me.
Just as I was about to walk away, some guy approaches her and gives her a kiss on the lips. She quickly moves her face away from him so the kiss lasted a second, I think she did that because I was standing there.
"This is Dan. She introduces me. " He is Jax's best friend. She continues to say. "Hi Dan, Colin, her boyfriend. He introduces himself to me. I started to feel furious, and very jealous
I immediately remember the times when I had her attention. If she only knew that with each word she said, with each thought she shared at that time she unknowingly stole my heart It's too late now, she has someone in her life So I smiled at her again before walking away.
July 15th 2015 It's my birthday, my parents decided to let Jax have a party for me, they are traveling for work. The party was awesome, my parents got me a car, finally. Colin got me the most beautiful watch with our names on the back
I had an amazing night. Dan showed up, and all the feelings I thought were fading returned with him. He smiled at me and my world came crumbling down. Without being drunk he leaves me feeling intoxicated. Let me not get started on his eyes, his beautiful grey eyes demands your attention
September 5th 2015 I'm now in college, I share an apartment with my best friend Laurie. Colin lives on campus, we go to the same school. He makes me happy. I'm starting to forget Dan again. SLOWLY
December 22nd 2018 Its been three years since I've been with Colin. He asked me to marry him three days ago. I said YES I love him so much, he is perfect for me. Tomorrow we travel back home to spend Christmas with our families and to tell them the good news
December 23nd 2018 I got home this Sunday morning, everyone was so happy to see me and I was happy to see them. Especially Jax, it's been a year since I saw him. He lives in London England, and I live in Boston Massachusetts.
The distance is far too long. Happy we always have our Savannah Georgia to come home to. He lost it when he saw my ring, he could not believe the little boy who took me on my very first date ever in life, will soon be the one I marry.
December 24th 2018 Jax invited me to have dinner with him and his family for Christmas tomorrow. He told me Dahlia would be there, so we laughed and joked about the time I had a crush on her many years ago. I told him all about it, simply because she was old enough now.
That is when he told me that she is getting married, the girl is engaged. I could not believe it, it all sounds crazy to me. I wonder if it's true I guess I'll find out tomorrow I wonder how she looks. The last time I saw her was in July 2016 at her 18th birthday. She is 20 years old now, I bet she looks different, or maybe not.
December 25th 2018 It was at 8:00pm when I heard the door bell. When I open the door, I am met with a pair of grey eyes. It's been two years since I looked into these eyes. It was Dan and I could not hide my excitement when I invited him inside.
He smiles and walks in, looks at me and gives me a hug. "You look beautiful. He says with that memorable smile. Thank you Dan, I replied while laughing and shaking my head You still open our conversations with that line huh? I ask him teasingly
"I'll stop when it ceases to be true. He stops in front of me and stares deep into my eyes, I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I couldn't breath. Taking a breath, I tell him everyone is waiting in the dining area. "it's good to see you Dahlia. He says as he walks away
I stood there for a few minutes longer, processing what just happened. Dan Karter still looked like a warm blanket in the winter. My mind is troubled. I needed to quickly get myself in order
Colin came a few minutes after Dan, we all had dinner together. It was nice, we laughed and played games all night. Not awkward at all It was around 3:00am Monday morning when Dan found me on the balcony. Colin had already left, and everyone in the house had fallen asleep.
He came and sat in the chair next to mine. "Do you remember when I took you to that waterfall some years back, when we went camping? He asked grinning, looking lost in his memories.
Yes, I responded, how can I forget? I had a serious crush on you back then, I admitted laughing at myself. "I know, I could see it on your face every time I got too close. He said while looking out into the distance. I laugh nervously
"You always had this shy smile on your face, and you did this nervous laugh, every time you thought I was being flirty. He looks at me trying to find my eyes "The same laugh you just did a second ago. He continued.
You are so full of yourself Daniel, I say while staring daggers at him I was suddenly angry inside Not at his comment but at the truth behind his comment. I was terrified because of what it all meant.
He suddenly took my hand in his, maintaining eye contact "Tell me, how are you? "I am fine "I responded not knowing what else to say. "Tell me the truth Dahlia, for so long you have hidden the truth.
He moves his chair even closer to mine and continued to speak with his hand still curled with mine. "I have hidden the truth for so long and I can't do it anymore Dahlia". He inhaled only a shallow breath and then struggled for another before he continued to speak.
I don't care if I get robbed of my life. I need you to know that I have always thought you amazing, and perfect and beautiful. I love you Dahlia, I have always loved you. I just couldn't tell you before His confession left me frozen, I had no idea what to say. Its been years and he decides to tell me this a few weeks before my wedding day? I was furious.
"Do you love him? Is he good to you? He asks me as he was getting up from his chair. Yes Dan, He loves me and he is good, so good to me. I responded with tears threatening to spill all my truth down my cheeks. " I love you Dahlia, even if you don't love me back.
Those were his last words to me, before I walked away from him and left him standing alone. I am exhausted
December 26th 2018 She is beautiful, the same beautiful she has been since the last time I saw her. She is moving on and I feel so happy for her. That is what you do right? When you love someone. You are happy for them, even if it hurts like hell.
I pushed away every girl I have ever tried to date because they failed in comparison to her. Now she will spend her life with someone else, I guess my silence is my punishment. I should have told her sooner. I have fallen in love with her and there is no way back. she is engraved in me.
Dahlia Moon, my heart is with me but my heartbeat is inside of you. To be continued..