Today's write will be a bit different, I suppose. For a while, I couldn't find it in me to live life to its fullest and I fell into a spiral of depression. Fortunately, a close friend of mine reached out over text and was there for me.
She understood my troubles just as I understood hers.
So I just wanted to share her words that had helped me in my time of distress. I am so, very thankful for people like her. Perhaps this will speak to you as well. Maybe not. But nonetheless, I feel like it's important to do this.
For her, for me, for everyone.
For her, for me, for everyone. Thank you.
And so, as mentioned before, these words were sent between me and her and I was given permission to share this. I take no copyright to her words. (I have censored certain words, though, and fixed any typos)
"Sometimes, I see happy people and I'm wondering if they're always that happy and naturally good at life or am I just doing something wrong??"
"Some people just have it easier. Most of the “popular” kids at school have parents who don’t really give a sh!t what they are doing.
Others have parents that are stricter or have higher expectations
I know you told me your mom wants you to be just like your sister and pressures you to have good grades. There’s a lot of kids who go through rough times and hide it so they don’t seem “weak”.
Just know that you have parents who want you to succeed in life even if you have different ideas from theirs in what you want to do."
"But what if it's more in the matter of being alive or not? What if your dad walks away and doesn't call and doesn't contact us and your mom blames you for starting the argument?
What if your mom calls you useless and tells you that you're a disappointment and she should've given birth to a more useful child? What happens then?"
"Everyone has their own set of problems. It could range from having abusive or absent parents to being insecure or shy. Different people deal with it in different ways.
But the truth is there is no “perfect life” or a “perfect world”
Even if there was, it wouldn’t truly be perfect because as soon as everything is perfect, then things such as happiness and joy lose all meaning.
Everything would become dull.
Because if everything was perfect then there would be no drama no mistakes nothing “bad” and because of that then there is also no “good” things. Because there’s nothing to compare it to.
If we were happy all the time then we wouldn’t really feel anything because we would never experience sadness and therefore couldn’t experience sadness.
Everyone gets to a point in their life where there are no big problems or they hide it so they're not seen differently by others or like you say “burden” someone with your problems.
But pain does end. There is light at the end of the tunnel even if it seems miles away or dim as hell.
You can make it out, sometimes you need someone stuck in the same tunnel to walk with you. Or for someone on the other side to call your name.
And if people treat u like sh!t? Then f*ck them they aren’t worth it.
If your mom treats you like that then get emancipated. It’s hard but worth it. If your dad wants to leave then let him go.
You're one of the smartest people in our grade. And talented as sh!t.
You just have to survive till you're 18 or like I said get emancipated and leave them. And then you're free.
Just because you're dealing with this now doesn’t mean the rest of your life will be the same.
You will go through several rough spots but I know you can get past them."
*Cue the tears*
Reading through this again brought back so many tumbling feelings. My friend, I know you aren't on Commaful and will probably never read this but you do support me on all my pathetic social media accounts.
I may have only known you for 2 and a half years, and only REALLY got to know you in the second year, but somehow you have made it to my deepest fears and darkest hates. I don't know what I did to deserve you as a friend but I hope it continues in the following year since this year we share no classes.
You were there for me when couldn't talk to anyone else. You were there to sooth my aching heart and make me feel okay again. You made me want to keep my life and for that, I am forever grateful. I owe you my life.
Thank you for being my friend and staying when times got weird or rough. Thank you for being there for me. - Forever & always, Isabelle