A Letter Unsent
A Letter Unsent grade stories
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whynot
whynot Write is right. Right is wrong.
Autoplay OFF   •   3 months ago
~ G R A D E ~ You would think that academic success was enough to make one happy. Maybe. Somehow, that doesn't mean it would be you though.
~~Thanks for reading!~~
(A mostly fictional narrative. I'm still okay. I'm still getting things done. I'm still trying too hard to be perfect. I'm okay I'm okay)

A Letter Unsent

A Letter Unsent To my parents

A Letter Unsent To my

A Letter Unsent To my mother

It wasn't hard for you to train me

It wasn't hard for you to train me into some academic soldier.

Your lessons were never about how to solve a math equation

Your lessons were never about how to solve a math equation nor what a semi-colon was used for.

Your lessons only pertained to doing all the learning in school

Your lessons only pertained to doing all the learning in school and that if I had to ask you a question,

Your lessons only pertained to doing all the learning in school and that if I had to ask you a question, I was a failure.

But you see,

But you see, like every kid,

But you see, like every kid, I soaked up every piece of praise and punishment,

But you see, like every kid, I soaked up every piece of praise and punishment, lesson and failure.

So much to the point that when you finally changed,

So much to the point that when you finally changed, I hadn't.

When you finally questioned me about going out with my friends,

When you finally questioned me about going out with my friends, the very action you forbade me from doing years before,

I could only look at you and ask

I could only look at you and ask "why would I?"

You ran me down until all I thought about were grades and a high-paying career.

I no longer believed in my own happiness,

I no longer believed in my own happiness, only the wishes and ambitions of you and "society."

Never once did you say "do what makes you happy"

Never once did you say "do what makes you happy" nor teach me that making mistakes were okay.

I had to learn the hard way how to keep my sobs silent so you wouldn't call me "weak"

Where to dig my nails into my skin so you wouldn't see them and think me dramatic.

You drilled me so well that I learned to put others first

You drilled me so well that I learned to put others first and myself second

You drilled me so well that I learned to put others first and myself second because my own well-being wasn't a priority.

I learned it so well that

I learned it so well that while you flourished in wealth and fame,

I learned it so well that while you flourished in wealth and fame, I withered away each day.

And you saw it.

And you saw it. You saw my anguish and my internal struggles

And you saw it. You saw my anguish and my internal struggles but you chose to look away

And you saw it. You saw my anguish and my internal struggles but you chose to look away and put on a pretty smile instead.

I suppose that's all this ever was.

Just another pretty smile to hide behind.

Just another letter written.

Just another letter unsent.

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