I knew about the ghost Who lived in my house She was not a big ghost And she was quieter than a mouse.
She lived in a cupboard Under the stairs And slept in the day-time When the sunlight glared
Her hair was black And infested with lice Her eyes were blood-red And her skin cold as ice
I thought that she Would be lonely down there With no-one to talk to But the lice in her hair
For certainly somehow I knew she was alone And she'd been here so long - think how lonely she'd grown!
So then I thought I could be her friend And then I imagined All the good times we'd spend
So that night I went down To the base of the stairs I opened the cupboard Swallowing my fears
The ghost was sitting on an upturned pail Her eyes turned to me And I almost quailed For that one moment, my courage failed
She glared at me, her eyes aflame And I stammered as I asked "Pray, Miss, please But what's your name?"
She spoke no words, And shook her head And the pit of my stomach Filled with dread
"Go!" she said "Get thee gone from this place! For if you do not Thy fate must thou face."
"I shall count to three." So said she.
"One," she said, And her eyes grew bright "Two," she said, And I was filled with fright
"Three!" she cried Contorted with rage. And then my life turned Over its final page.
But all was well In the cupboard that night For the ghost hadn't killed me; I'd died just of fright.
And now I live here, In the cupboard 'neath the stairs And haunt the house And the children's nightmares
But I don't do it alone For, you see, I have a ghost-friend Who's always by me
And she'll never be lonely And neither will I So I tell you this: I'm happy I died.