"Everyone deserves love. There's someone out there for everyone. Whether you find that one or not is truly up to you. Some people love countless times and never find their one great love. Some find that one and hold on to it forever.
Those are the lucky ones. The ones I don't get are the ones that make excuses for their loneliness. They hide their hearts out of fear of losing, fear of pain. They mask it as honor or whatever excuse they can make to deny the fact that they are scared.
They strap their odm on like a shield with stupid lies like armor. 'I might die and leave behind a family', 'my mission is more important than my heart'. Bullshit. 'I don't have time'. Nonsense. They go on about staying alive when in fact, they're not living at all.
They're merely surviving. They don't know what it means to be alive. Not at all." She says all this to her co-workwer, while organizing the paperwork he has requested. Handing it to him, she smiles brightly.
"Have a wonderful day, Captain." Simply nodding, he walks away. He heard every word, and how it resonates in his lonely heart! Her words ring out in his mind for the rest of the day.
Every day is the same. He comes down to collect the paperwork he needs to sign off on, and see her. Despite his neutral expression and his inability to do anything other than nod, he can't help but feel the blossom of happiness she causes within his heart.
She makes him feel special as corny as that sounds. She greets him everyday like she is genuinely happy to see him. Always a bright cheerful smile. And he's noticed the difference in friendliness with other soldiers that show up at her desk.
The smile she gives is special, and only for him. He honestly feels she is the only good part of his day. She doesn't even know.
But she was also right. She may have not been speaking to him on that morning 3 weeks ago, but all the same she was right. Every word was a glowing testimony to the emptiness inside him. The emptiness she has slowly begun to fill every day without even realizing it.
He wishes he could talk to her. He could... of course he could, but to actually hold a conversation? Nope. He's heard her speak with others enough to cultivate enough topics to try out, it's just that he knows his attempts would fail. Miserably.
He's not one for conversation. But yet, he often holds them quite well with her in his head. Unfortunately, this is the only place they go well.
"How can you be so cheerful on 2 hours of sleep, that's what I want to know?" A cadet is at the desk, presumably waiting to grab a pile of paperwork for some officer that can't be bothered to handle his own shit.
She laughs. "Sleep is for the weak." "Well then I must be a total wuss, because I want to go back to bed right now." She gives the kid a little half smile, not the smile she gives him but undeniably beautiful all the same.
She turns and notices the man standing off to the side and patiently waiting. Her smile is warm and earnest, and her eyes light up merrily. 'Why do you have to be so beautiful', he inwardly sighs.
"Captain, good morning pleasure to see you!" His heart lurches happily in his chest, and all he can manage is a slight nod with minimal eye contact. Of course.
"Have a nice day!", she calls and he walks away inwardly groaning. 'Fucking idiot, Levi. You're a fucking idiot. But I have something to talk to her about at least....'