"Heather! I'm so excited that you're here, we've got sooo much to do and I read you're books and I've got sooo many questions and...oh look Levi is here too oh this is perfect I've been wondering if women from your world can mate with men from-"
"HANJI!!!!" Levi and I yell in unison, our faces equally red. She stops mid-rant, and catching her breath, clears her throat. "Well, That's getting a little ahead of myself Heather, let's get started." I look longingly over at my car and reluctantly follow, Leaving a very embarrassed Levi behind.
He walks over to my car, slowly circling it. 'this has got to be the strangest device I've ever seen...maybe she IS from another world, I would've never believed something like this existed. No, that's stupid I-' "Hey Levi!" Startled from his thoughts, he glances over to see me sitting on a stool with a band around my arm.
"Hands off my car, yo!" Hanji is approaching with a long needle... "Hey! Hanji!", he strides over quickly. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "Levi, relax, she's drawing my blood. It's fine."
"I'm NOT worried about you, I just want to know what's going-" "Angle the needle, Hanji! Don't just stab it in there!" "Sorry, Heather." Embarrassed by his reaction, Levi clears his throat.
"I'm just going to go back to my quarters." Hanji gives him a knowing wink, which causes his cheeks to flame up even further. 'Stupid girl and her stupid car. Why'd she have to come here? Causes me nothing but trouble when all I want to do is protect her...' He stops at his door, alarmed at the thought that just passed
through his head. 'on Erwin's orders of course....' Levi's Journal: As if that wink wasn't annoying enough why the hell did Hanji have to make a suggestion like that? I swear sometimes her brain goes into a completely different place than the rest of humanity and the resulting shit that comes out of her mouth is brain damaging!
And now I feel stupid again because I was so worried about what Hanji was about to do that I didn't think about how I was letting my concern show. That's not something I want to even admit to myself let alone have Heather catch wind of.... And seriously? A mating experiment?? In what fucked up world would I ever agree to that?? I don't even want to
imagine..... I'm imagining it, OF course I am. God damn you Hanji for putting that in my head to begin with. And damn you also Heather with your stupid pretty eyes and your stupid pretty smile. I'm getting more pissed off the more I write (and think) about it. I hope she doesn't come home soon, I don't think I have the patience for her right now.
Heathers Journal: Hahaha Hanji is kind of a trip. Let's do an experiment with you and Levi...mating? OH FUCK WOMAN!!!! I don't think I've ever seen him that embarrassed, and believe me I've tried! (To embarrass him...NOT the mating thing) But everything is going exactly how I expected it to, and now all I have to do is wait for the results to be complete.
I wonder what's up with that Eren kid? He was down there the whole time and it seems to me that they were doing some experiments on him, too. He's a little hot head... cracks me up.
A couple hours have passed, and I'm finally back from Hanji's lab. Levi looks up expectantly. "Well?" "Well what?" "What's the verdict?"
"Bad news is Hanji's a little disappointed that I don't have some otherworldly human superpowers." "And the good news?" "I'm a plain old ordinary human, congratulations, we can mate." I laugh at his red face, and grabbing a book lie down on the couch.
"Oh that's GREAT!", he says sarcastically. "Let's go right now!" "Really? Gosh, I was HOPING you'd say that, Levi!" Very irritated, Levi gets up and storms over to the couch, grabbing me by the shirt and pulling me up nose to nose with him. "You can only dream Heather."
"Why would I set myself up for THAT disappointment, Levi...you don't know how to do anything except piss out of that tiny thing!" "Bitch!" "Centimeter peter!" I yell, holding my thumb and forefinger really close together.
"Stop making fun of my damn dick, you piece of shit!" "Stop getting so stupid and angry over a little joke, Angry inch!" "I'm fucking warning you!" "Yeah? What exactly are you going to do? I don't think hitting me will go over well
with your superiors! I was joking, and YOU blew up at me first! Dick!" Getting angry at the look on my face, Levi curls his fist. 'she's egging me on...and why did I have to get so irritated in the first place, she WAS joking. it's Hanji's fault for even suggesting that...and we wouldn't be fighting right now if I'd just kept my cool....'
'god, what a troll...i wasn't trying to make him mad at all and now look at us...' 'I should just kiss her right now, that will wipe that look off her face wouldn't it...stupid bitch...' We continue to glare at each other. 'just throw her up against the wall and....' Irritated at the temptation of it, he shoves me to the couch, and storms out slamming the door
behind him. Levi's Journal: I knew it. I knew we would end up at each other's throats. She just had to make a crack about the stupid mating thing, and I lost my temper. I know damn well I shouldn't be taking it out on her, but why can't she shut up about some things? You wouldn't find this so amusing if you knew what I was thinking
about ALL afternoon, would you bitch! AND what I'm currently tempted to do for that matter.... Heathers Journal: Well the hiatus (sp?) is over and it's 'behold the knight of dickington, sir peckerhead' again. He must of really got himself all jacked up over Hanji's suggestion, cuz all I did was make a tiny joke about it
Of course, that then set me off as well and then well, you know. Penis taunts and threats to beat my ass. He certainly looked like he wanted to punch me or something. Ha, something? Sure, what else would he possibly want to do???