The Next Night: "Do you mind if I grab another book? I'm done with IT." Looking up from my paper, I shrug. "Go for it." Pulling books off the shelf randomly and reading the back, he settles on Anne Rice's The Witching Hour. "Good choice", I say looking up briefly.
Coming to the couch, he lies down putting his head in my lap. I look down at him questioningly. "What? I thought we were all about invading personal space lately, Heather." Rolling my eyes I go back to what I was doing.
"Be my guest." Reaching up, he grabs my paper. "What are you doing?" "Drawing...don't do that, you'll ruin it." "I wanna see..."
Sighing I hold it out for him. "It's not done..." "That's really good!" "The nose needs work." "No, Heather it's great I think it looks just like me. It's better than I would do...have you seen me try to draw?"
I laugh. "Do you want it when it's done?" "Yeah, I do." "Well then lie down and read. Let me concentrate." 'like YOU let ME concentrate?', he thinks to himself opening the book. 'you're always distracting me...' A half hour
later, I tap him on the shoulder. "It's done. And could you get up? I'm going to take a shower." He gets up grudgingly, and I grab my backpack and head for the bathroom. I come out fifteen minutes later, to find my music on and Levi still immersed in the book he's reading.
'He's turning into a book nerd like me', I think giggling. I grab some cleaning supplies and start on the windows. "Now?" he says, "I thought you were going to do that this morning?" "Well, I got sidetracked, so I want to get it done before I get distracted by something else."
Shrugging, he continues to read. "What are we listening to? It's awful slow." He says, putting the book down and sitting up. "I don't remember ever putting it on my playlist, but it's called Sad Eyes." "But why is it so slow?"
"It's a love song, Levi. People like to dance together to this stuff, and you've heard me play slow stuff before." "Ugh, do you mean like dancing at the stupid balls the politicians throw?" "No, not quite. It's a different kind of partner dancing."
"Then how are you supposed to dance to songs like this?" Rolling my eyes, I grab his hands and pull him up from the couch. "Like this...". I put his arms around me, and he jumps.
'oh god what is she doing now...she-' and when I put my arms around his neck, stepping in close he looks about to panic. Trying not to giggle at his reaction I act like nothing is amiss and start leading him through the steps. 'she's too close, what do I do?'
After a moment, Levi lets himself relax and actually enjoy the moment. 'this is actually kind of soothing...and I've only stepped on her foot twice so far, so chalk one up for Levi.' He pulls me in closer, and I move to him willingly.
Cheek to cheek we continue to dance. 'is she trembling?...no, that's me..or maybe both of us..do you think before you do shit like this, Heather? maybe i should stop asking loaded questions and i wouldn't get these complicated situations...'.
When the song ends, we step back from each other, looking down awkwardly. Another song has started, just a slow as the last. (Magnet and Steel, Walter Egan) "I should get back to cleaning windows.." I turn away to do that, but he grabs my hand.
"I'm leaving tomorrow, can we dance once more Heather?" Pulling me close, we wrap our arms around each other tightly. Cuddling up against him, I smile. He buries his face in my hair, and a moment later, I feel his lips on my neck. We both pull back in surprise.
'did he just...' 'i wasn't thinking!...' Despite his panicked thought he leans in and kisses me on the lips tentatively. We stay that was for a while, lips barely touching and eyes closed.
'oh hell...' I think and this time I kiss him. We kiss throughout the song, and though his kiss is tender, it has a sense of urgency to it that has me wanting more than just his lips. I feel his hands sliding up the back of my shirt, releasing my bra and oh god...I finally realize how badly I've wanted this and slowly unbutton his shirt.
Hands wandering, we move towards the couch. The song stops. Loud metal music starts pouring out of my speakers. We both jump, and step back.
Looking terribly embarrassed he excuses himself. "I'm going to bed." He leaves me alone in the middle of the room. 'does she have feelings for me? should i ask her? do i want to know?....i don't know how to handle this...''
Levi's journal: Since when am I such a chickenshit? She looked so confused when I turned tail and ran! Fuck what is my problem...I suck! Face down a titan? Cool, I can do that. Be intimate with her? Nope.
Does the fact that she kissed me back mean anything more than it did last time??? fuck, I don't know. i can't WAIT to leave for a couple weeks. Give myself some time to think things through.
Heather's journal: I don't know how to feel right now. I don't know what to think. I mean, everything is so mixed up in my head. I WANTED him to kiss me! I WANTED his hands on me! Things are changing between us so fast, I feel like a bullet being shot from a gun. I don't know if I'm even remotely ready for this...whatever it's turning into.......what's holding
him back? I could come out and ask, but not knowing which version of Levi I'm going to get by the hour makes me feel I should just sit back and let him work himself up to this. I have a feeling it's a deep rooted issue and I don't want to offend by prying, but....god I'm so frustrated!!!