Maxie - Adventures of Chaos and Cuteness, #1
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wethedreamersAnd we're a million miles away.
Autoplay OFF  •  5 months ago
Because my dog is an asshole.

Maxie - Adventures of Chaos and Cuteness, #1

by wethedreamers

Maxwell was a good boy. He thought so, at least.

His human loved him dearly, so she gave him a treat.

A little stuffed monkey that rattled and squeaked.

A gift for Little Lord Fauntleroy, my little boy Maxie!

Success. Six solid hours of exuberant play.

Jasper the monkey was adored and enjoyed, and forever here to stay.

But Jasper met an unfortunate end. Maxwell played too rough.

Into the graveyard of mangled friends. Jasper was taken and put up.

Maxwell understood nothing. Just what did he do?

Where did his human take Jasper to?

He saw her with him. "Please, human, give him back to me."

He stared at her for literally hours, very uncomfortably.

Unbeknownst to his human, this subject wouldn't be dropping.

Unbeknownst to Maxwell, he took up a hobby that was much widely known as "stalking."

Staring, accusing, and holding a grudge.

"Where is it, human. Give. Him. Up."

His human was baffled! Why not play with something else?

You play too much, too rough, enough... please control yourself.

This is not a new routine. Human sees that things are broke.

Goddammit, you destructive Chewbacca, how the hell did you break a rope?

Honestly, how did you break a knot? You spoiled tiny brat.

No, what the fu- it's broken. You're not getting it back.

Your human will get you a new toy very, very soon.

Now, please get all of your other toys and please get out of the bathroom.

no no nO NO NO STOP THE COUCH IS NOT WHERE YOU LEFT IT.

Maxwell did not understand the phrase: "You little piece of shit."

Maxwell grew weary. Still looking but with an injured spirit

...and a mournful sorrowed whimper, if anyone could hear it.

But wait. His human. Did she say, "Maxie want treat?"

He stood frozen as he perched and perked at a high pitched squealing squeak.

Maxwell grabbed at the plastic, not fragile like cloth.

He shot like a bullet from a smoking gun, into the air and took off.

A new toy! A new joy!

A very happy little boy.

You little piece of shit.

(Who I'm in love with.)

Stories We Think You'll Love
wethedreamersGifted WriterAnd we're a million miles away.
5 months ago
Writer's Block
I got nothin'.

wethedreamersGifted WriterAnd we're a million miles away.
8 months ago
Billie
I'm so sorry, Billie Lourd.

wethedreamersGifted WriterAnd we're a million miles away.
7 months ago
Date An Anxious Girl.
Reasons why you should.



wethedreamersGifted WriterAnd we're a million miles away.
5 months agoReply
@sydney He's cute but he's SO BAD SYDNEY.

wethedreamersGifted WriterAnd we're a million miles away.
5 months agoReply
@melissa Yeah, that's my pup! Cute but psycho. Thank you, I'll tell him you think so. :P

wethedreamersGifted WriterAnd we're a million miles away.
5 months agoReply
@shana YOU ARE TOO KIND TO SAY THAT, thank you! :)

wethedreamersGifted WriterAnd we're a million miles away.
5 months agoReply
@bernardtwindwil Thank you so so much, Bernard! Tell Nonni and her beagle that Maxie and I say hi!

sydneyVerifiedco-creator of Commaful
5 months agoReply
yessssssss amazing. seriouseriously amazing hahahhaa. Better than i ever could have imagined. great job!!!! i'm like laughing and also melting in cuteness

melissaCommunity member
5 months agoReply
is that an actual picture of your dog? this is so so so cute

shanaSilver CommaCommunity member
5 months agoReply
YOU ARE DOCTOR SUESS IN ANOTHER FORM

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
5 months agoReply
This is just about the best and cutest poem I have read in a looooong time. The meter and rhyme made this the equal of "The Night Before Christmas". The greatest thing I can say here is that I will be reading this as a bedtime story to my grandkids. I just read it to Nonni and she loved it. She laughed all the way through. She has a little piece of shit beagle. Great poem!!!