Billie, I can't imagine. I am so damn sorry.
You're far too young for this much at once; to be hurting like this, darling.
And "suddenly" is the understatement of a year most cruel.
A hit and run of grief in the old whilst limping into the new.
And Billie, you are changed for good from this moment on.
All of who you once were and what you once had will forever haunt.
And I know, Billie, that hurt is so easy to grip ahold on to
And I know it's inconceivable, but I hope you let it go; I beg of you.
I and so many others have been damaged from kept close grief
And I hope you can be stronger and lay it all down faster than me.
Faster than I; than we. Faster than mourning is known to be.
Faster, so you never get into the habit of channeling your hurt to poetry... Billie.
Then your ache will never leave.
I am sorry for the onslaught of reminders you have.
I'm sorry you cannot be peacefully sad.
I'm sorry you will now be known for what you have lost.
I'm sorry you will always be associated with a pitied thought.
And Billie... I am so sorry that you have to see this world:
It wails of whom it lost... But you've lost so much more.
Burdened be with heavy darkness, and no will left to fight.
Billie, baby. I am so sorry. I wish for you love and light.