Waking up to a colder bed, and a lack of body heat.
Reaching over, feeling nothing, and you weren't next to me.
Dear God, I couldn't breathe.
Turning on the coffee pot, cooking breakfast as it brewed.
The sinking revelation as I set the table for two.
I just don't know what to do.
Radio blaring as I got in the car. I didn't even lower it.
I was waiting for the protest where you would've fought me over it.
Weeks were passing, people asking, "Is everything alright?"
I was recovering every moment, but they all relapsed me every time.
I cry and cry and cry.
When I went to a party, and someone said to me, "Hi."
They asked if I was busy next weekend, and I ultimately lied.
It's been about a year. That beach I avoided? I went back.
But the water almost drowned me when I remembered your arms around me and I had a panic attack.
And even when I came to, I ran quickly from the shore.
The lifeguard and his concerned eyes... My god. They looked like yours.
I don't swim anymore.
I moved across the country trying to find a silver lining.
But the weight of the guilt crushed me when I realized, if you wanted to, you couldn't find me.
I don't know if you're even trying.
They said time would heal all wounds...
But I'm still as broken as your vows.
All these times I wasn't over you.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight... and now.