before i begin, i'd like to make sure that it is understood that this is my own personal analysis of this poem, this is simply where i came from when i wrote this poem, and if your interpretation of the poem is completely different, that's completely okay! i'd love to hear your interpretations in the comments below!!
**trigger warning** mentions of abusive relationships
in general, this poem stems from being the victim in an abusive relationship. the abusive partner is symbolized with the use of the word anger in this poem, and is explained through the partner's perspective towards the end of the relationship, exactly at their breaking point, when they realized enough was enough.
this entire poem is a moment of realization. a moment of "i don't deserve this" and "i deserve better" and other similar affirmations. the poem starts with "anger surges out of me" which could be interpreted as either the anger toward your partner, or just the idea that you are ridding yourself of that partner, which is what i meant, bc i symbolized the abusive partner as the idea of "anger"
i move on to say that even when you thought "Anger" was completely gone, he continued to try and empty your brain of the doubts you had of the relationship. he continued to try and make this desert land of a relationship into something similar to a beautiful ocean, in order to try and convince you to stay once more.
he tries to force you to see a relationship in which his abusive side is taken out, a pristine image where you couldn't see Anger mixed within, he tries to force you to see him as an innocent, shallow, welcoming shore.
you take the bait one last time, as he waits like a cat near a mousetrap to strike. he waits as you wade into an illusion of a beautiful relationship, similar to the way you'd wade into the shallow sea. he waits until you are fully submerged to strike.
the violent episode occurs, to the point that you cannot sense anything around you. he slows, allowing you to believe that he has some compassion left. you begin to see him as a person again, with a heart and soul. you begin to think he cares once more.
you go to take a breath, but it's not the same. it hurts to breathe, but you don't dare take advantage of this time. you take the time to breathe, no matter how much it hurts, but before you know it, he is at it again.
he keeps this up for God knows how long, this ebb and flow of violence and tranquility, reminding you that he is the one in charge of your pain, and he'd rather have you suffer through believing that it might end up okay, than ending you right there and then. he prolongs the process for his own entertainment, for his own sick enjoyment.
he continues to build your hopes up, and uses them against you, building you up, and crashing you down with your own self. you don't give up until you are just the sand under your feet of this disastrous beach of a relationship that you found yourself in.
you don't give up until you are among the rest of the sand that the waves of Anger helped create along his shore.
you don't give up until you are no longer part of you body. and you are sorry. not because you wish you didn't anger him for his own sake, but because you wished you could have kept dealing with him yourself. you wish you could have survived him, because that way, he wouldn't have more victims.
you're sorry that you allowed him to move on to other people. you are sorry that you couldn't help control him. you are sorry that instead of helping him let his feelings out slowly, like a rainfall, you let him take it out on you, and eventually more people.
you are sorry that instead of helping him grow a rainforest with his feelings, you allowed him to create a shore of sand, made of nothing but the remnants of the victims of your mind.
i know it sounds really sad, but the victim of a relationship like this often feels it is their fault that this occured, which is shown in the latter part of this poem. i want all you to know that if you are in this type of relationship, you are strong. you deserve better. if you ever need to talk pm me, but i am not the only help you'd need. please call a domestic abuse hotline if any help is needed.
just some further explanations: "Anger" symbolizes the abusive partner, a beautiful ocean symbolizes the idea of a perfect relationship, sand represents the remnants of victims of abusive relationships, etc. (if you need further explanations of the symbolization, either comment or pm me)
the ending of this poem explains that there was no ocean to begin with, no perfect relationship, just miles of sand made to look like an illusion of an oasis in a desert, when in fact, the desert was just miles upon miles of victims of the same thing you are going through.
just a reminder that this can happen to anyone, and i used the pronouns he and him because this was a true story and i wanted to keep the pronouns of who this was in my case. anybody can be abusive in a relationship, no matter their gender.
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