before i begin, i'd like to make sure that it is understood that this is my own personal analysis of this poem, this is simply where i came from when i wrote this poem, and if your interpretation of the poem is completely different, that's completely okay! i'd love to here your interpretations in the comments below!!
*disclaimer* i don't believe i've ever been in love, but i do think i've loved before, but any poems written about the idea of being "in love", is solely that, just my idea of it, i write from a place of a desire for love and something stopping it, so i hope that clears some things up
as a general statement, i wrote // the madness within // as a method to my madness, as a reason why i have never been in love before. it serves as my internal struggle of often giving too much of myself in any relationship, romantic or any other, and how that struggle reflects my fear of falling too hard for someone.
to begin, the first part of this poem is about how we, as a society, often hide the biggest parts of our lives in our minds, where they are hidden from the outside world. anything we do or says doesn't hint at any part of us we'd like to keep hidden.
but when we "love" someone, we often throw that mindset away, giving ourselves up completely for just the slight possibility of being loved back. and i don't understand that fully yet. how can we reestablish all our morals and values, if we are not positive of our love for them or their love back for us?
while this might sound quite selfish, it stems from my fear of giving myself out to someone who is not truly there for me. it takes a long time for me to open up to people, because i often fear that they might do something to break my trust, and i will be left alone, while they will have the most intimate parts of me that i've never shown before, and they might use them against me.
moving on, the poem hints at my misunderstanding of love, and how i am scared of all the parts of love that are not definite. i explain how i am scared of all love entails, and how the parts i don't understand will cause me to fear it as a whole.
i go on to explain that maybe that's how love is supposed to feel, like something you've never felt before, that has no set path, and keeps you on the edge of your seat, leaving you anxious in the best way.
but then i go back to this idea of love being a balancing game, where all parties are supposed to be equal, but i will often be the one that gives too much of myself away, in order to make up for what my partner isn't willing to give out yet. i explain how we are often in an imbalance within ourselves, and we try to hide this instability by being stable for others.
in which i question whether relationships are there for us to live in balance within ourselves, or to balance each other and hide our own instability. although it is a pretty dark topic, it doesn't seem hard to imagine to me, as i see it often.
many of the relationships i've been exposed to, whether by adults or fellow peers, are often formed through imbalances within ourselves that seem to balance each other out, but in reality, seem to form an inequality of power, which inevitably causes an implosion of that relationship. and in this poem, i question whether this inequality this accounts for love.
i go on to explain, that many people in relationships always doubt that they give too little, when really they should ask themselves whether they give too much. they should ask whether this relationship will better both themselves and their partner, instead of just their partner.
we often think of taking care of ourselves as selfish, when it should just be a norm. relationships should benefit all parties involved, instead of everyone except yourself. and this again should not be seen as selfish, but the norm.
at the end of this poem, i go on to explain the repercussions of giving too much of ourselves in order the benefit the other people in our relationships, which include doubt and worry, and above all, this regret that seems to loom over us that attempts to block us from loving again. this regret that seems to block us from opening up again.
hope y’all like this!! i plan on doing this for most, if not all, of my poems, and if you still have questions about this poem, please leave them in the comments below, along with any other interpretations y’all had of this poem, which is located in the description, if y’all would like to reread it. tysm again, hope y’all have a great rest of your day, i appreciate each and every one of you <333