*this is another poem meant to be a spoken word, so keep that in mind while reading please*
1. you do not exist. you are just a figment of dreams i have never dreamed and a piece of my distant past in a future that i do not think i will ever live in.
2. the sunrise is so much prettier in real life, from my bedroom window, when i am high on a dreamy state that is you. but i don’t dream. or get high.
but i get really sleepy sometimes because i sit up all night thinking about seeing you first thing in the morning.
3. i write more poems about you than anyone or anything else.
i stroke similes out of every strand of your hair, and i trace metaphors tattooed into your skin, like the roman numerals that you marked yourself with when you were eighteen.
i spend hours of sleepless nights writing you into existence so that you are the first thing i encounter the next morning.
4. i have never been more in love than i am every morning from five to six.
it is when i wake up to you sprawled across my bed, with your head on my chest, intertwining our heartbeats into a perfect union. it is when i can think about you effortlessly and interminably.
it is when my dad is in a sound sleep in the room over and i do not have to deal with him telling me i waste time on pointless things. you are not pointless. nor is my love.
i am in love with you and i want to spend every waking minute with you.
5. i have never been in love.
6. i do not know how you look, but i know we fit perfectly into a jigsaw puzzle that is missing a few pieces. i do not know whether to call you she, he, they, or something else, so i call you you.
but i know i love you. i love you so much that i never want anybody else’s oxygen in my system.
i love you so much and i want to be able to kiss you until we’re a mess of swollen lips, stolen kisses, and sweaty palms, but love nonetheless, at five in the morning.
i love you so much that i want to be able to spend the rest of the morning with you. that i want to be able to spend the rest of the day with you.
that i want to be able to spend the rest of the week with you. the month, the year, my life. i love you so much that i want to be able to spend all of eternity with only you.
i love you so much that i want to be able to love you. outside of my closet. and past six in the morning. possibly in front of my father, but we both know that is a bit of a stretch.
and i do not know if i will ever be able to do that because
7. you still do not exist.
but i still wake up at five in the morning, with just a sliver of hope left. one that i will never let go.
one that i know other people hold onto as well.
one that i am hoping no one ever lets go of.
*announcement* i am hoping to put up the answers to my q&a sometime this weekend, so anyone who would like to participate, please do. even if you have asked a question or more already, i would love to answer any more that you may have. there will be a link to it in the comments section
*update on book* i have decided to self-publish (idk if i said that already but yea), so i am currently putting the official book together and my best friend is still drawing pictures for it xx also, i am starting an instagram page soon, i will let you know more about that soon xx
*reminder* you can join my taglist at any time, just comment and i will add you right away xx love y'all sm and i hope y'all have a great rest of the day xx if you are having a rough day, please take a breath and let this be a reminder that you are enough. just take a break and do something you love to do xx stay safe xx