I told them I was having a hard time. I couldn’t drink anymore, I knew it was bad and I couldn’t stop until I blacked out. I needed to be freed from feeling.
After continuing to black out family started commenting even giving me Alcoholics Anonymous books they joked with every bit of seriousness hinting for me to stop drinking.
No more invites, not even hows it going. I found a better friend that helped me.
It felt good to not remember, it was relief...but then I was not remembered I finally listened to what they were saying. They didn’t want to see me.
Hydrocodone was her name she helped me relax but she pushed me further into depression as I got less and less done each day. Sleeping gave me a better life, I wanted that.
I realized once again I had to change.
I started drinking again and brought my friend along. She got things going again but I couldn’t stop, it was different.
I didn’t even mind the panic as every bad memory came surfacing as the depressants bring them out because I knew I’d black out.
I couldn’t be touched and I would panic if anyone came close to me. I did a good job of secluding myself....did I do that?
Now I am gone and no invite is needed. Now, you’ll post the several photos of us that show I meant “so much.” Now I know I have relief.
I know a status is meant to read but this is the very last of me. I am gone and now you’ll have more to say. Just as before, you’ll know where I am, but now I am being clear...
please come talk to me.