For the most part, I like the independence of being single.
On the other hand, I don't like feeling alone all the time.
I know I can't rush it. That it's better to wait for someone you connect with.
But it's hard waiting when you remember what it was like to be with someone.
When you remember the rhythm of their heartbeat syncing with yours.
Remembering the times where laughter would consume your entire day.
Or remembering the feeling of hope they gave you to move forward.
It has that power over you. The power to keep you craving.
And you start looking.
In places you know you shouldn't.
Through numerous dating apps you keep deleting.
Making you think about coworkers who you barely see outside of work.
Worst of all, making you look for something in the past.
Then the cycle continues.
And you just hope that somewhere in between, you can find a break.
At least independence isn't that bad.
And solitude is nice sometimes.
But I miss it.
I miss all that I remember of what they gave me.
I want it again...
The cycle has to break sometime.
It has to.