To Nanay Iya
To Nanay Iya mom stories
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viviennets
viviennets a mediocre, self-indulgent mess. enjoy.
Autoplay OFF   •   8 months ago
She wasn't my mother, but she might as well have been.
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Whew this piece is loooooong. It's dedicated to my late nanny, Nanay (Mother) Iya! She took care of me all the way until middle school, and I wasn't the only one that loved her.

To Nanay Iya

I miss you.

You knew me best,

You knew me best, you always did,

You knew me best, you always did, and I think you still do.

I dream about you, sometimes.

I dream about how you held me day and night,

I dream about how you held me day and night, when I cried and laughed,

I dream about how you held me day and night, when I cried and laughed, and when I woke and fell asleep.

You were always there.

You were there when I was born,

You were there when I was born, when I started to walk, talk -

You were there when I was born, when I started to walk, talk - just not when I started to actually grow.

I wish you were around.

I wish you could have seen me go up that stage,

I wish you could have seen me go up that stage, clap as I claim my awards,

I wish you could have seen me go up that stage, clap as I claim my awards, and smile at the camera you held as I posed with my family.

You saw me for me.

You saw my lowest moments,

You saw my lowest moments, the ones where I thought I couldn't continue,

You saw my lowest moments, the ones where I thought I couldn't continue, the ones where I was even told that I shouldn't try to.

- you haven't seen the best of me so far.

I want you to see where I am now.

I want you to see that the snot-nosed brat you were paid to care for can wipe her own nose now,

I want you to see that the snot-nosed brat you were paid to care for can wipe her own nose now, that she can do things like the cooking and cleaning.

That she can even live on her own.

That she doesn't need to rely on a nanny anymore.

I miss you.

You were paid to take care of me,

You were paid to take care of me, to feed me,

You were paid to take care of me, to feed me, to do what my parents couldn't.

I wonder if loving me was part of the job description.

I'm pretty sure those two-person Christmases weren't orders,

I'm pretty sure those two-person Christmases weren't orders, and those too-big candles on too-little cupcakes were your own ideas.

I miss you.

You really scared me, you know?

You were always mindful about your health even though you were more mindful about mine.

I didn't see it coming.

I was reading when they told me you were in the hospital.

I was reading when they told me you were in the hospital. I was already crying in the car on the way there.

I miss you.

You left a pretty big mark on the entire family when you left.

I didn't know what to do.

I saw my mother cry for the first time, my father too.

I saw my mother cry for the first time, my father too. My brother hugged me when I stood by you.

I saw my mother cry for the first time, my father too. My brother hugged me when I stood by you. I wasn't crying anymore, because you never liked when I cried.

I miss you.

You've been gone for a while now.

I'm doing the best I can.

I visit you whenever I have the chance,

I visit you whenever I have the chance, and I wish I was given more of those.

Your daughter is working with us now,

Your daughter is working with us now, and don't worry,

I'm making sure the kid she deals with isn't as bad as I was.

I love you.

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