an unloaded gun presses upon my back,
i know it is unloaded, i checked twice,
but what if it is not?
what if at the clench of the trigger
a bullet arises from the muzzle and pierces my skin?
my mind puts itself under a siege,
the harmful thoughts enter, and the good turned away.
my anxiety is bigger than me.
it is amazing how something grown out of me could encompass my entire being.
grown from my thoughts, it became my world
i became a dot on a piece of paper.
my anxiety does not bring butterflies to my stomach,
it brings a constant sense of hunger,
anxiety does not fill me up.
it drains me,