Relapse
Relapse  poetry stories
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violetsummers
violetsummers Raw insight to everything in my mind🌸🖤
Autoplay OFF   •   9 months ago
A true outlook on what it's like to go through a relapse in addiction. Its kinda along read but one of my new favorite poems i've wrote

Relapse

I now feel empty because of one decision i made

I now feel empty because of one decision i made My sobriety was all that i had in this world

I now feel empty because of one decision i made My sobriety was all that i had in this world 135 days clean

All gone because I decided it would be more fun to smoke weed

All gone because I decided it would be more fun to smoke weed I knew before doing it that I would regret it

Back on day one

Back on day one I've been here a million times before

Back on day one I've been here a million times before It is too familiar

Back on day one I've been here a million times before It is too familiar So what now How do i move on

Honestly i have two real options

Honestly i have two real options Dig myself the hole that i have dugs many times already

Honestly i have two real options Dig myself the hole that i have dugs many times already Or move on Keep going on the journey of recovery

To be 100 percent honest with you I'm not quite sure which one i have chose

Old me whispers thoughts in my head of all the pros to going back Its comfortable there No feeling to been felt

But i have learned so much I am completely new

I have climbed my way up from my deep dark rock bottom of the hospital bed

Life is so much better now Yes sometimes it's extremely uncomfortable But its way nicer

The sun is a lot brighter and the flowers smell better There is light at this tunnel

So why do i want to go back to when the world was black

So why do i want to go back to when the world was black It's quite perplexing

So why do i want to go back to when the world was black It's quite perplexing I wish I could say that i'm completely sure that I will not go back That i will stay in the light But i do not know

I suppose that's what relapse does to you Makes you ponder between good and evil I wish i didn't miss using But i do

There was something so thrilling about slowly killing myself This certainty that i would probably eventually die from it But now i am gonna survive How strange is that Please tell me what to do with that feeling

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