Pretending my life has meaning, pretending I'm okay when I'm not, pretending to pretend, it's kinda of like acting, I'm good at that, I like to think
think too much for my age. I think about my past. I think about how I am feeling now, but hardly ever the future and if I do it's romanised daydream of me being happy, taller, skinnier,with a boy
maybe in a mildly successful field I desire.. I feel different to others. I feel like a wanker. I feel angry, I wonder if I even feel love? What if my feels aren't the same as other ?
what if the feeling I thought I had, are not real because I never had them ? Sociopath comes to mind. But I have empathy. I'm just so tired of thinking so intensely like I have to have the answer
to why my brain is like this every single time.