You used to hold my head under water every day
until I'd beg you to stop
You loved to see me beg
that was no secret
You'd gush about it to me
when i lay on the the floor sputtering water
Your eyes wide, unblinking
taking in, with delight my red eyes
You wouldn't hit me
a gentleman you claimed to be
But you did over and over
when I'd tried to gouge your eyes
and you banged my head against the bathtub
Then the next day, when i lay all bandaged up on the couch
You had me apologize for making you do it
Some days I'd try to stay in longer
I loved it under water
In there, you weren't there
The water lapping against my cheek, comforting ,
a mother's touch canceling out a sadist's.
Maybe someday I'd hold on to her embrace.
Maybe someday i wouldn't come up for air.