Devoid Vomit.
Devoid Vomit. depression stories

vero I miss feeling.
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
A look at the contradicting nature of apathy and hyperpathia.

Devoid Vomit.

Outside is a thick gray sky, I can hear the sound of the powerful wind. Many would say it's sinister, or that it evokes a sense of awe in one's soul.

But I perceive it as a euphonic, even melodious harmony of the movement and agitation of air and pressure dynamics. Alongside such a pleasant sound, is the rain, a satisfying rain.

Often visualized as a funereal obstacle to one's day. In contrast, for me, it is an utterly magnificent addition to my day.

Accompanied by the cacophonic, but mesmerizing sound of the thunder, and the hazardous, but brilliant light of lightning bolts. Indeed, a thunderstorm is my ideal weather.

It may seem bizarre to some, depressive even. Truth be told, it is my instinctive nature, and I may not modify it in the least of ways.

Though, no matter how relaxed, zen, or calm I am, it seems to never disappear. It, is an emotion. You could argue that it is not, but it, is apathy.

A feeling of being devoid from everything, a feeling of a hollow cavity inside of you. But, it seems to be accompanied by a feeling of being too full, fed up.

It feels like I eternally want to vomit, I want to vomit void. I feel so empty, yet so full, so exhausted, yet so restless. It is as if there was something thriving, lurking, dwelling in me.

Parasitically devouring my sanity. It is a dark creature, horrifying, terrifying. A manipulative, sadistic parasitic leech.

It opens it mouth widely, exposing the insides of its awful, filthy mouth. A large tongue, irritated and savage, ready for murdering a prey cruelly and agonisingly.

Continuous, never-ending rows of terrorising teeth, sharpened, and adapted for barbaric mastication of the victim. Its gums bloody, signifying a taste and admirement for gore.

Its eyes, its obscure, sombre, eyes. They pierce through one's soul, frightening it to perplexity. Its ears distincting and detecting the slightest and most silent of noises.

Its black, colossal, body, is composed of pure disgust, pure fear, pure torture, and pure gloom.

Its teeth are continuously rooted into my heart, rotating, ripping it apart, and segregating it masochistically.

With its tongue repeatedly striking in and out of it rapidly, destroying its weakened, delicate tissue. It feeds on my blood, for it inhabits me and ingests my emotion.

Expressing it supremacy and tyranny. It roots its body into mine, demolishing it piece by piece. It may not get out, no matter how hard I gag or cough, it will forever haunt me.

Making me tired, devoid of any feeling or sensation, anhedonic, lugubrious. Depressed, my mood is constant depression, constant anxiety, and constant delusion.

For I, will remain imprisoned, in my own body.

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