me, but happy
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velvetanna
velvetannaCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  9 months ago
ambivalent poetry about someone I used to be in love wit

me, but happy

by velvetanna

loving you was the last thing I felt very good at sometimes I feel your heartbeat in the palm of my left hand

my brain does not know how to separate thoughts of you from sadness there are only so many ways to describe heartbreak & I have bled them all

you are the rabbit hole I fell into, craving to use california sunshine to trip through thoughts of you needing a bottle like a baby needs their blanket

bite marks on my neck from teething that I can’t put names to even if I tried abusing substances that have no emotions

drinking whiskey & chai to forget your name, but in the end I only forgot my own I lost myself in loving you

but I have returned, tears still in my Campbells soup, but I’m back now my eyes still burn when I hear your name, but I’m back now

I have climbed up the rabbit hole, broken nails & dreaded mornings, but I have evolved I have bled over you more than enough

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