Dust
Dust pain stories
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underthebridge
underthebridgeCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  a month ago
I wish you hadn’t given up on me. There are so many things I would wish for, but that’s all I have room for in my heart now. I wish you hadn’t given up on me. I wish we could have stayed on course. You told me your dreams, and I told you mine. We worked hard to make those dreams come true.

Dust

I wish you hadn’t given up on me. There are so many things I would wish for, but that’s all I have room for in my heart now. I wish you hadn’t given up on me.

I wish we could have stayed on course. You told me your dreams, and I told you mine. We worked hard to make those dreams come true.

But before we could taste the fruits of our labor, we lost our way in the desert, short of the promised land, because our faith wavered. I wish we could have stayed on course.

I wish I hadn’t failed. We made each other happy once. But then I brought you down. I thought I knew what you wanted, and I thought I could give you that. But I was ignorant. Silly and ignorant.

I wish I hadn’t failed.

I wish I had made you feel loved. I cherished you. I loved your heart, not your body.

I tried to do the little things, the important things, but I’m not smart, so I did things wrong, and I lost you.

I wanted you to know that my time and attention was yours, above all, but I couldn’t do it right. I wish I had made you feel loved.

I wish I hadn’t been depressed. I let myself become absorbed in my own stress, and I forgot to protect you. I should have had more control, I should have been more stable.

I wish I hadn’t been depressed.

I wish I’d known how you felt. All I wanted was to give you everything. I loved you so much, I wasn’t infatuated, I was serious. I saw our future, and it was bright.

I was confused when things started changing, when you started to tell me different things than you told me before. I watched you love me less and less and I didn’t understand why.

Of course I’m sure it was me, I’m just so ignorant sometimes. I’m sure I did something wrong that made you change. I know I made you change your mind about what you wanted somehow.

I wish I’d known how you felt.

I wish you’d known how I felt. I always tried to make it clear that I loved you and supported you, but I messed it all up and didn’t do things right, and so I lost you.

I couldn’t express myself, I couldn’t connect to you the way I did before. I look at my reflection every day in pain, because I couldn’t understand myself. I wish you’d known how I felt.

I wish I could have given you the world, but it isn’t my place anymore, and I hate myself for not being stronger, for not fighting harder.

You deserved more dedication, more action, more appreciation. But I’m small, and stupid, and I make stupid mistakes.

You brought my world back into the light when the darkness was surrounding me, and my world became yours. I wish I could have given you the world.

I wish I could understand what my mistake was. It’s my greatest mistake, because you were my greatest love. You opened up my heart.

I don’t know if I can love like that again, there isn’t a point to it.

If I could feel the way I felt about you and still lose you, then what hope is there for me to make things work with someone else.

I gave everything I had to you, but I gave it to you wrong somehow, and now I don’t have anything to give anyone. I didn’t, and don’t, need you. But god I want you, still. I love you, still.

And that’s all I want, is to be able to give you my love. We always realize our mistakes a little too late I guess. I wish I could understand what my mistake was.

You were the world to me. I just wish we Hadn’t given up on each other. I thought it was the kind of love that could make it through anything. I was a fool. I don’t know how I feel now.

I feel small.

I wish I wasn’t lost in my emotions. I sway back and forth between blaming you and missing you and loving you and wishing I’d never met you, cause this loss is too devastating. You were it.

I wish I wasn’t lost in my emotions.

I wish you still loved me. And I know how you really felt about me. All those messages, all that laughter and love, the trips, the early morning cuddles and late night pillow talk.

All of the moments, our moments. Everything we shared, our love. It wasn’t an act, it wasn’t an accident, and it wasn’t a lie. It was real. God I just wish it still was.

I wish you still loved me.

I wish I could talk to you. I thought I could get close to you again. But I don’t know what’s in your heart. I mean, You haven’t led me on, but sometimes it feels like you still feel something.

I don’t know if that something is love or hate. I hope you don’t hate me.

I gave so much of me to you, I hope you don’t hate me, cause that just means that people hate me when they really know me, and I don’t know if I can live with that.

We have so many wonderful memories together, and they turn to ashes when I think about them. This can’t be it. It can’t be, because love doesn’t give up, not real love, not what I know we had.

I gave the best I’ve ever given, I tried harder than I ever have. Even my family saw the difference after you came into my life. You motivated me, you made me want to be more, better, for you.

Because you deserved it, and because you were my woman, and you were worth every ounce of effort. I wish I could talk to you.

I wish I knew where things went so wrong, where I messed up. But I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry and I can’t ever fix this now. I love you. Goodbye.

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