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unanimous Community member
Autoplay OFF   •   4 months ago
Damn so tough don't know where to begin Realizing my mistakes as a reflect within


Damn so tough don't know where to begin

Realizing my mistakes as a reflect within

Caused so much pain it's my biggest sin

Second chance at life from the dark place I been

The story began when I met you in college one day

Still remember the scene below clouds of gray

We just clicked it felt right and okay

It was a beautiful soul that took my heart away

As we got closer I always had that fear

Is this going to last or is the end near

Then we switched schools and it seemed clear

That I wouldn't fit and my place wasn't here

One of your friends made a remark one day

You aren't really tall and I said damn okay

Got me insecure, alI could do was pray

That was the spark that lit I went stray

I was insecure feeling ashamed emotionally

Not being tall enough had been said notably

That became the fuel for my jealousy

Always was thinking everybody better than me

Little things got me mad and I began to be upset

Thinking maybe she probably is gonna feel regret

He ain't that tall not a magnet i deserve the best

And I started viewing school like it was a final test

I couldn't share how I really felt about you

I know you're to smart you had a clue

I just hoped you felt the same way too

Maybe time would have made that true

Insecurity got me thinking I would never be good enough

That became my fuel for my anxiety it was tough

I'd let out my frustration at the gym to get buff

shitstorm in my mind didn't know how to work the stuff

I remember the days when you would have a smile

It felt so warm I wished time would stop for a while

Take a picture Kodak moment and save it in a file

Dealing with stuff your self being very strong was your style

At the movies one day I received a call from you

I was with my whole fam it was the cousins crew

Answered and all I hear is crying as it grew

We talked for a while and the movie ended before I knew

I got really messed when I left the pack

Thought giving you space might be the way back

We grew apart so fast you got ur life on track

I was spiraling down a hole that was black

Me beginning to hate myself for not being great

Due to the height color skin or that attractive trait

That was the thing that would soon wipe the slate

And put me in a world with a mess I would create

We didn't speak for months I missed your birthday as well

I caved in and one day decided to dial your cell

Was drunk and had so many emotions couldn't tell

That black hole I was spiraling I soon fell

You told me your status all I saw was black and no sight

Then I gained my mind and it began my psychotic episode that night

I started to think everything connected would be alright

That we were destined together cuz the mind thought right

As days went on episode made me lose my thought

I started mixing fiction and reality I forgot

Kept calling and texting trying to reach you a lot

I didn't sleep a few days that the episode brought

When my family saw they took me in one day

Their son lost his mind all they could do was pray

72 hours all alone they made me stay

And then there was a miracle that made me okay

The doctor who helped had your same last name can you believe

My episode still going on I think it's you who I will see

We met he introduced and I thought now I'm free

It's probably her relative so she's not far from me

Months went by and it took time to heal

The episode kept playing back like a highlight reel

Didn't have an appetite was down to only one meal

Had loved ones support which made me stronger to deal

I understand for you it was scary and weird

Me saying crazy shit something you must have feared

Mind was never there from the tracks it steered

Closed that chapter felt like A game boss was cleared

Now it's been 2 years and that's enough said

I see you achieving goals and getting that bread

You Always worked hard and on your shoulders a good head.

And I don't ever blame you that I was left on read.

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