For after all it is my mind and the intricacies of my daily battle to stay afloat. Am I sad. Am I angry. Am I happy. Am I confused. Just a brief insight to the chaotic bullshit my head goes through every day. I heard a song yesterday. Win life by luke Bryan. A line in it goes. "If you lose yourself in somebody else. Maybe you dont lose at all". Seriously what a line.
Completely emersing yourself into someone else was once considered. Whipped or under the thumb. Maybe it means to completely understand that person on a level that most couldnt comprehend. Screw physical beauty. Screw monetary gain. The real pleasure. The real beauty in life is what is too often over looked. The little intricacies of someone that you love.
The little OCD habits you notice of someone that brings a smile to your face. The parts of another you adore yet make another crazy with frustration. Maybe I shouldn't have been diagnosed as bipolar. I doubt it, but what if I just look at a scenario so differently to what's considered normal that telling me I have bipolar was the simple quick fix.
You look at a situation in whatever context you perceive it. Then it stops. I look at a situation for everything it entails. Why did it happen. Should it have happened. When did it happen. Who made it happen. Then I replay it over and over and become fixated. Then I analyze everything until I'm finally happy with my answer. All over within a matter of seconds.
Maybe I just feel so deeply that I struggle to comprehend what's right in front of me when all I'm trying to do is understand a situation. Fuck your pills and potions to fix my head. You wont control my mind. You wont fix my head. I'll continue to love ferosciously. Ill hold grudges until I forget what they're about. Ill be loyal until that loyalty makes me bleed. I dare you to try understand me.
I dare you get me to open up and see if you come out the other side. Maybe you'll run for the hills. Maybe you'll shake your head and walk away, or maybe you'll come back for more. For after all I promise theres not another mind like mine. It might be broken. It might be beyond repair. What i can always count on is loving life in a way that makes my view of the world so skewed yet so beautiful