w h a t i f . . .
w h a t  i f . . . poems stories

twlevefiftysix this is my safe space.
Autoplay OFF   •   2 years ago
questions i have for the first boy i ever liked.

w h a t i f . . .

What if I walked up to you right now and told you that I wasn't over you?

What would you do?

Would you have stared at me blankly and told me I was crazy;

Or would you tell me you felt the say way, maybe?

What if I made my move the last time I was at your place last July?

Oh how I knew my ten year-old self would've died;

Would we have kissed then?

Or would we have agreed to never see each other again?

What if I told you seeing you and her together bothered me?

Only because she was all I ever wanted to be.

Would you have notice how much you holding her like that,

made me horribly jealous and upset?

What if I sat next to you that other day, would it be okay?

Never mind we probably wouldn't say anything to each other;

for I'd probably be too much of a bore,

Or would we have gotten closer than ever before?

What if I never listen to my friends,

and instead stuck by you to tie up a few loose ends?

Would we have been brave to tell all our dark secrets to one another?

Would our lives be easier if we had each other?

What if I told you how I actually felt, would you have felt bad?

The way you told my best friend at the time that you loved her and how she was your world,

Would I still have stood in the sidelines heartbroken and sad?

Or would we have ended up together instead?

What if my friends never told you how much I liked you when we were kids?

Was that the bullet you wish you could miss?

Oh how I'd hoped for you not to find out about my embarrassing feelings for you like that,

Until now, that would be the only thing I wished I could take back.

What if our class teacher didn't assign us to sit next to each other?

What if we never spoke throughout the year?

Would I still somehow have introduced myself to you?

Or would I have walked away for good?

What if in ten years at your new place,

I'd take your hand as I look right at your drunken face as I ask, "Did you ever like me back?"

You'd look at me and squeezed my hand;

Would you have told me how you actually felt then?


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